第22章：性爱岂须私密？性福胡不群欢？
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO Public Sex, Group Sex, and Orgies
【本章对于身在中国内地的读者，完全是“西洋景”——就像读关于自由民主宪政的内容，或者看境外同性婚姻合法化的新闻，与我们脚下的土地、生活的日常，似乎不属于同一个时空。本章的几乎全部内容，如果在国内付诸实践，都难免触犯《刑法》第301条“聚众淫乱罪”。顺便一提，在世纪之交的十几年里（也就是性爱描写尺度较大的华语耽美小说，在无需VPN的网上，很容易读到、下载到的那些年），“聚众淫乱罪”一直处于沉寂状态，未闻有人因此被判实刑；到了2010年（也就是谷歌从中国内地撤离之年），组织和参与“换偶”的马尧海教授以“聚众淫乱罪”被判刑三年半（此事在多年后回顾，颇有历史转折点的意味）。从此之后，因“聚众淫乱罪”获刑者，时有报道。——译者注 】
DO YOU WANT to be an orgy slut? This is a choice. No matter what you might have heard, group sex is not obligatory for open relationships, and we know many fine outrageous sluts who don’t attend orgies or promote three-ways and four-ways in their homes. We also know monogamous couples who frequent public sex environments for the sheer pleasure of playing with each other in a special and sexy place, complete with an appreciative audience.
做一个“走出深柜，步入广场”、“堂堂正正‘聚众淫乱’”的婊子——任由婊气公开侧漏，对所谓公序良俗统统“去他爹的”——你想不想？这是一种可供选择的生活方式。无论谁对你怎么说，作为多边关系者，你依然可以拒绝“群P”，多人性爱尤其是公共场所的性爱狂欢，并非多边关系的“必选项”；笔者所认识的资深老婊，其中有些人，要么从不参与多人性爱，要么在家里关上门玩“3P”、“4P”。同时，就笔者所知，有些不搞多边关系的一对一封闭式伴侣，也会频繁光顾多人群交的公共场所，在众目睽睽之下进行肉体亲密、鱼水交欢，并且乐此不疲，就像在网上撒狗粮秀恩爱，巴不得让别人羡慕嫉妒恨。
If you have ever had a fantasy of being made love to by five people, or having an extra pair of hands to make love with, or having lots of hot people to get impulsive with right now, or performing before an audience that will thrill to your thrashing and screaming in delight … in other words, if you are attracted to the idea of sex parties, this chapter is for you. Here we will tell you what you need to know to have a good time and deal with any difficulties that might come up.
如果你曾有过“和五个人一起做爱”的性幻想，或者，幻想在和伴侣做爱时，能够再多一个人的缠绵，多一双手的爱抚；幻想和好几个魅力十足之人，一起相拥，共赴高潮；幻想当你做爱时，身边有个为你加油喝彩的观众……换言之，如果“多人性爱聚会”的念头，能够令你心动，这一章的内容，就与你天造地设一样的般配。笔者将在这一章中与你探讨：为了在群交中玩得更爽，你需要提前了解什么？以及，你可能会遇到哪些麻烦，如何妥善应对？
We believe that it is a fundamentally radical political act to deprivatize sex. So much oppression in our culture is based on shame about sex: the oppression of women, cultural minorities, and sexual minorities. All these kinds of oppression are instituted in the name of the (presumably asexual) family. We are all oppressed. We have all been taught, one way or another, that our desires, our bodies, our sexualities are shameful. What better way to defeat oppression than to get together in communities and celebrate the wonders of sex?
笔者深知，让性爱打破“个人私密”的限制，不再是“鬼鬼祟祟”、“见不得光”的隐私，而是堂堂正正地昂首阔步于公众视野，这是一种激进到足以改变旧有根基的政治行动。我们所面临的社会文化，以“性羞耻观”为基座的身心压迫，活像王八驮石碑：没有缝隙的沉重、僵死和荒诞。女人，以及文化意义上的少数人群，和性少数人群，所受的压迫，更是杠上开花、层层加码。这些林林总总的压迫，都以“家庭”的名义，作为貌似合理的借口，仿佛家庭和性爱之间，注定矛盾重重。我们每一个人，都是这些压迫机制下的政治难民。我们都在“性羞耻观念”的大酱缸里，像腌咸菜一样，浑身上下每一个细胞里都被不断灌输：“我们的性欲望，我们的身体器官，我们和‘性’有关的一切，都可耻到见不得人、见不得光。”——还有什么武器，能够比公开抱团、欢庆性爱，更彻底地回击对“性”、对人类灵魂的万般压抑？
Going to a sex party presents an exciting challenge. It’s an opportunity to stretch and grow as you deal with stage fright, performance anxiety, and the wonderful and scary tension of planning and getting ready for elaborate sex in an intensely sexual environment. Everyone is nervous, and the shared vulnerability adds to the arousal. We love the giddy feeling of conquest when we succeed in overcoming all these obstacles and creating a hot sexual encounter. There’s not a lot of room for prudery and shame at an orgy, and when we play in a group of people, we get powerful reinforcement that sex is good and beautiful and that we are hot and sexy people.
走进一场多人性爱狂欢的聚会，既令人心动，又需要自我突破的勇气。这是一个自我拓展、自我成长的机会：在充满性挑逗的环境里，你也许依然会怯场，依然有着类似上台表演的焦虑，这种紧张感会让你既发慌又着迷，而你需要带着这些复杂的心境，来迎接和应对同样复杂多样的性爱互动。每一个人都难免紧张不安，但是，当你主动把自己脆弱的一面，坦诚地分享出去，传达给更多人，这个过程也堪称一副“催情剂”。本书的两位作者，都乐于享受“克服重重险阻，结交性爱新欢”之时的成就感。假正经的矜持，和对肉体欲望的羞耻感，在群体性爱的场合，统统“恶灵退散”，没有容身之所。和一大帮人共享情欲之乐、床笫之欢，让我们身为婊子的基本信念——性爱是美好的，每个人都拥有属于自己的火辣性感——得到强有力的固化。
性爱，为什么要打破深柜，公之于众？
Section titled “性爱，为什么要打破深柜，公之于众？”Why Public Sex ?
Your authors both enjoy public sex and regularly attend what we call play parties, environments in which people gather to enjoy a wide variety of sex with each other. In a highly charged sexual atmosphere we feel a synergistic kind of arousal when everybody else’s excitement feeds our own, and we feel connected to and turned on by all this happy sex that is going on around us.
本书的两位作者，都非常热衷于在别人的目光下，进行种种性爱活动，也都是群P聚会的常客。笔者将群P聚会称为“玩乐趴”（play parties）：很多人聚集在一起，各自呼朋引类，共享形形色色的性爱方式。在一个“性能量充电满格”、大家都很性奋的环境里，我们的性欲也会被带动起来；身前身后的各种性福景象，让我们在性奋的同时，还能感受到和众人之间的心灵相通、情感连结。
Group sex offers the chance to try out new partners in a safe environment, surrounded by our friends—we even get the opportunity to check out a person we might be turned on to while they make love with someone else (an audition or advertising, depending on your point of view). Group sex offers the opportunity to challenge ourselves, move our sexuality out into the open, banners flying, with lots of support in getting past the fears and bashfulness and lots of friendly people to applaud your ecstasies.
参加群P，让我们在安全无忧、彼此友善的环境里，有机会结识新的性伴侣，进行“尝鲜式”的灵肉交欢。此外，我们还可以对某个“看上去不错”的人，通过观察此人和其ta人的性爱，对其作出更为可靠的判断（你可以将此人的性爱表现，当作艺人应聘某个角色的试演，也可以当作此人自我展现、吸引同道之人的广告：随你怎么想，都行）。群P性爱，也是一个不断挑战自我、拓展自我的机会：在大家的支持肯定下，和擂鼓助威声中，跃马横枪，冲破“耻感”和“羞涩”的心魔连营，将自身和“性”有关的林林总总，都摆在公共的台面上，堂堂正正、理直气壮地营造性福生活。
In a group sex environment we can learn new sex acts with lots of support: we can watch someone else actually doing a form of sex that we had previously only seen in our fantasies, and we can ask them, when they’re through, how they do that. We learned many of our safer-sex skills at orgies, where rubber barriers are de rigueur and there is plenty of support for dealing with awkward bits of latex and maintaining everybody’s safety and well-being. Most public sex spaces provide condoms, rubber gloves, and whatever else you may need to play safe.
在群P的环境下，我们还能够在很多人的帮助下，学到很多不一样的性爱方式。我们可以观察其ta人之间，真操实干的性爱方式——其中的不少方式、不少性爱体位，或许在过去，对你而言都只是“可望而不可及”的幻想——当ta们的性爱高潮过后，你还可以向ta们询问、取经，探讨“如何去做”的技巧。本书的两位作者，都在“聚众淫乱”的长期实践中，学到了很多让性爱更加安全的技能。须知，插入式性爱一定要戴好安全套，这在群P场所，是公众准则、普遍共识。针对和戴套做爱有关的种种困扰、种种不适，笔者在此类场所，学到了很多应对和改善的好方法，让每一个人的安全和劲爽，都能得到充分的兼顾。绝大多数群体性爱的场所，都会为大家提供安全套，和性爱塑胶手套，以及其他各种有助于安全性行为的用品。
Play parties can help you get over bad body image. As we have pointed out before, people enjoy sex at all ages and in all kinds of bodies, and at any orgy you will see them doing it. One good way to prepare for your first adventure at an orgy is to visit a nude beach or hot spring, if you never have before, to see what real people look like without clothes and to experience being naked in public yourself. You’ll start to see beauty in a lot of bodies that don’t look anything like the ones in Playboy or Playgirl—this may be a good time to repeat the “Airport Game” exercise you learned in chapter 17,“Making Connection”—and there’s a lot of sensual delight to the feeling of warm sun and gentle breezes on all the parts of your body.
多玩玩群P，能为你消解对自身形象气质的种种焦虑。正如笔者在前文中所讲过的：每一个人，无论任何年龄、任何外表，都可以尽情享受性爱的美好；当你步入群P场所，你会看到各种各样的人，无论年轻年老、高矮胖瘦，是否符合社会主流的审美标准，都能找到和自己“王八看绿豆，对了眼儿”的人，一起玩得很爽。如果你第一次来到群P场所，进行猎奇探索，笔者建议你，不妨先去看看裸体海滩，或者大家一起裸体混浴的温泉——你可以看到其中每一个人，脱光衣服后的身正模样，同时，也亲身体验下在公共场所一丝不挂的感觉。你会看到很多不同类型的美好肉体——远远不仅限于色情书刊中，帅哥靓妹的“标准化模板”。在这样的场所，也正适合你做一做本书第17章“如何结识更多同道中人？”之中的“机场游戏”练习题。此外，在裸体海滩之类的场所，更能让你的全身上下，都沉浸在暖阳和微风中。
It is amazing to us to think, after many years of practicing sex in public, that most people in our culture have never had a chance to watch another person enjoy sex. We worry about them—it seems like a terrible deprivation. We remember what it was like when we wondered and worried about whether we looked foolish with our legs up in the air and our faces screwed up in an ecstatic scream.Group sex is a great antidote to bad body image. You will feel much better about how you look, how you perform, and who you are when you have a chance to see real people having real sex. Look around you—every single person is gorgeous when they come. Which is why the orgy can be a perfect stage for the consensual exhibitionist: at the sex party, we all get to be stars and shine our brightest.
公开群P多年的笔者，忽然惊异地发觉，原来我们身边的大多数人，都从来没有机会看到其ta人，究竟怎样享受性爱的快乐。 【看AV不能算，因为AV是刻意表演出来的。——译者 】 如此状况，令人忧虑——这分明是一种惨无人道的“感官剥夺”，导致很多人都一直处于堪比赤贫和饥荒的蒙昧无知！笔者一直记得，曾几何时，当我们在多人性爱场所，爽得脚心朝天、眉飞色舞的那一刻，往往会伴随着某种程度的顾虑：“我这个样子，在别人看来，会不会很傻？” 针对“形象气质焦虑”，多去参加性爱群P，是效果绝赞的解毒剂。无论你是怎样的外表、怎样的举止，都能通过经常参加群P，实现更好的自我接纳；同时，当你看到“环肥燕瘦各有其态”的众人，真正在你面前毫无遮掩地进行各种性爱时，也会越发从容淡定，保持一颗积极的平常心。你会看到围绕在自己身边的每一个人，在最爽最嗨的时刻，都无比美好，“心中有佛性，人人无量光”。由此可见，对于真心喜欢展现自己魅力的人，群P场所是个绝佳的舞台，在这里，我们每一个人，都是耀眼的恒星。
形形色色的群P聚会场地
Section titled “形形色色的群P聚会场地”Party Spaces
Sex clubs are very special environments. San Francisco, where we live, has a delightfully wide choice of orgiastic environments to choose from. There are party spaces for women only, men only, couples, S/M enthusiasts, and lovers of drag and costumery, and parties that specialize in just about every sexual practice you can think of—and some that have to be seen to be believed. You may want to check out the website for Cuddle Parties (see our Resource Guide) for some new ideas about getting together and perhaps a safer introduction to connecting in groups: at Cuddle Parties, everyone wears pajamas and snuggles to explore intense closeness, without taking it on into actual sex.
性爱俱乐部，是极具特色、非同一般的场所。在本书两位作者所定居的旧金山，有很多非常牛逼的群P场所，任君选择。其中包含了女性专属和男性专属的场地，也包含了服务于伴侣双方，以及虐恋爱好者、变装或者cosplay爱好者的空间；你所能想到的一切性爱实践，都有非常“对口”的群P盛宴。其中有些性爱方式，在你亲眼目睹之前，恐怕根本无法相信。一个便于新人入门，并且非常安全的群P类型——也许会令你怦然心动——就是“只限于相互依偎爱抚的聚会”（Cuddle Parties）。在此类聚会中，每个人都穿着宽松的睡衣，寻找彼此乐于亲密接触的伙伴，但谁也谁之间，都不会发生真正的性行为。（本书附录的“资源导览”中，包含了对Cuddle Parties及其相关网站的介绍。）
Parties may be openly advertised to the public, advertised only in newsletters or at support groups, or private and by invitation only. There are public clubs, like the gay men’s baths, that are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and smaller spaces, perhaps an adapted basement recreation room, whose owners host parties once or twice a month. Other congenial groups sponsor small private gatherings in their members’ living rooms.
有些群P活动，会公开发布广告，进行自我推广。还有一些，则在圈内人之间的通讯简报中，或者和自己相互支持的团体中，进行广告推广。此外，还有一些活动，完全私密进行，并不对外推介，只限于若干好友之间的邀请。一些公开的多人性爱场地，例如男同的浴室，每天24小时、每周7天，随时都可以进入，从不打烊；还有一些规模较小的场地，多半是个装修改造后的地下室，平时作为娱乐场所，业主以每月一两次的频率，举办群P活动。另有一些同好小圈子，有时会在其中某个成员的住所，组织小规模的群P聚会。
San Francisco and many other major cities boast a fair number of party houses, where one or two stories of a building have been dedicated to social areas and play rooms for partying. Party houses may rent space to private groups, who might host a party once a month or so for their particular guest list.
无论在旧金山，还是（欧美各国的）很多大城市，都涌现出数量可观的室内群P聚会场地；在一些大楼，其中的一两层，专门用来做各种社交活动，举办各种聚会。这些社交聚会的楼层，可能会将场地出租给每月聚会一两次、与会者相对固定的私人组织，任其在特定时段尽情玩耍。
The first group sex parties that Dossie attended were held in a communal flat in San Francisco, under the presiding genius of Betty Dodson. Those who lived there were all dedicated to feminism, gay liberation, and sexual liberation, and their commune was a conscious experiment to radically change the conditions in which we can enjoy sex. They took out all the doors and made the loft space upstairs into one unbroken room by getting rid of the furniture. On a typical day, you could find several people on the deck sunbathing nude, some others organizing dinner, two more playing chess, a couple fucking, and another person across the room vibrating her way to her own orgasm. There were larger parties three or four times a year, full of people making love in groups, in twos, or singly, with lots of massage, and tantric practitioners chanting“Ommmm”in tune with the ever-present hum of vibrators. This space and what happened in it were private, available to the friends and lovers of the six or seven people who lived there.
本书作者之一道茜，当年第一次参加群P，是在旧金山的一所多人共享的单元楼中；其中的核心人物，是才华横溢的贝蒂·道森。 【Betty Dodson（1929～2020），一译“贝蒂·多德森”，泛性恋者，女性性解放先驱。她在性教育（推广女性自慰的理念与手法，推广震动棒）、性自由思想，和女性向色情艺术创作等领域，都很有成就。贝蒂·道森“大器晚成”，四十岁左右才开始自我觉醒，此后，多元多样的性爱，贯穿于她的后半生，直到八九十岁依然谈恋爱，依然享受性高潮。在中国内地，贝蒂·道森所著之书，例如Sex For One、Orgasms For Two等，都无法翻译出版。——译者注 】 共享那所单元楼的住户，个个都是铁杆的女权主义者、同性恋平权人士，兼性解放的践行者；这些人缔结社区、一起生活，共同探索一条截然不同于主流现状、让每个人都能自由享受性爱的可行之路。该单元楼的顶层阁楼，大门被移除掉，也没有任何家具；这里的任何空间，都不会被无生命的物体所占据。平常日子里，有些人在露天平台上光着屁股晒太阳，有些人忙着做饭，还有些人三三两两的聚在一起，也许在下棋，也许在做爱；而这个房间的其ta人，也都在用各种方式，让自己尽可能玩得更爽，步入生命的大和谐。在这个地方，每年有三、四次规模稍大的聚会：有些人配对做爱，还有一些人，用随处可见的震动棒自慰，或者一边自慰一边按照“谭崔”的性爱灵修方法，反复哼唱着“唵——”（om）的长音。这是一个私人空间，这里发生的一切，都是私密的；“业主”有六七个人，只有这几个业主所信赖的恋人和朋友，才能参加上述的聚会活动。
Public sex environments, whether they’re large public clubs or small party houses, have the common function of providing an agreeable space in which you can be sexual. Although the decor and furnishings of group sex environments vary as widely as the human sexual imagination, there are basics that you will find in most party spaces. There will be a door person to check you in, and you may be asked to sign a waiver of liability. There will be a social area, with places to sit and talk and meet people, usually with a small buffet of snacks and beverages. Sex does not usually take place in the social area, so if you’re feeling shy you can hang out there until you work up your courage. There will be lockers or coat racks or shelves or some place to put your street clothes, then either change into party costume or simply disrobe. Some parties are mostly naked, others feature a dazzling array of costumes for every sexual fantasy. There will be provisions for cleanliness, including bathrooms and showers. Then there will be the play room or rooms.
无论大型的群P俱乐部，还是小型的室内群P派对，这些“让性活动公开化”的场所，都有一个共同的功能：为“聚众淫乱”提供场地。尽管这些场地，装潢风格各异，就像人类的性行为一样五花八门，但也有一些“大多数都如此”的共同特征，能够让你易于辨识、易于找到。此类场所的门口，经常会有个“把风”的迎宾人员，你在进去玩之前，可能还需要签署一份免责协议。在此类场所中，除了群P的地方，还可能有公共服务区，大家可以坐下来聊天，通常还有一小块“餐饮区”，摆放着自助餐和饮料之类。一般而言，公共服务区并非群交性爱的场所，所以，如果你有些放不开，可以先在公共服务区休息一会，缓解下紧张情绪，等到你重新鼓起勇气，再“加入战团”也不迟。你的衣装，一般也有会专门的柜子和架子存放，然后再换上这个地方的专门服装，或者全身赤裸。其中有些聚会活动，几乎人人一丝不挂；另一些聚会活动，则根据本次性爱狂欢的基调，决定专门提供的穿着打扮，不同的活动，衣着风格也大不相同。针对个人卫生，也有专门的设施服务，包括浴室和淋浴喷头。当然除此之外，一个或者多个群P玩乐的房间，更是必不可少。
Play rooms vary from tiny cubicles, often set up in mazes, with a small bed just big enough to fuck on, to large rooms with mirrored walls and upholstered floors for puppy piles, group gropes, and other orgiastic activities. There may be hot tubs, steam rooms, and gardens for you to cruise and relax in. There may be an area for dancing. There is almost always music with a very strong beat, to wake up your natural rhythm and to give a sense of aural privacy so you won’t be distracted by your neighbor’s heavy breathing or squeals of delight. The lights will be low, and often red or orange, so we all can look a little tan and perhaps a little sexier. There may be rooms with furniture imaginatively designed to have sex on, like medical examining tables or slings, mirrored beds or dungeons for S/M fantasies, or perhaps a giant waterbed for those who like to make waves.
群P玩乐的房间，在不同的场地，也大不相同。有些地方，是像迷宫一样的小隔间，每个小隔间里，只有一张刚好足够用来“滚床单”的床铺。还有些地方，是四周墙壁都有镜子的大屋子，地板上铺着软垫，柔软到足以让很多人像小狗一样，跪趴成一连串，进行狗爬式（后入式）性爱——例如张三跪趴在最前面，被身后的李四“后入”，李四又被王五后入，王五也可以继续被马六后入……当然，也可以在软垫上，很多人相互爱抚，或者进行其他各种爽翻天的灵肉交欢。此外，还可能有热水桶洗澡盆，或者蒸汽浴室，以及可以溜达、放松的花园。也许还有舞厅，伴随着激情十足的音乐，足以将身边其ta人的娇喘声、叫床声，统统掩盖掉，为你营造一个“听觉专属空间”，唤醒你自身的天然情韵。灯光通常的非常昏暗的红色调，或者橙色调，让你的肤色看上去更深、更性感。房间里可能还有一些富有情趣的家具，例如医生检查身体的桌子（便于护士类或者医患类的角色扮演、制服诱惑），或者床的周围有大镜子，以及模拟的地牢（作为囚禁或者刑讯类SM游戏的背景道具）。此外，还可能有特大号的水床——如果你愿意，不妨试试在众人的喝彩声中，和床上的朋友们一起，现场直播“滚床单”。
In recent years, hotels that host conferences for various groups celebrating their lifestyles have been allowing party spaces, even dungeons, to be built in their ballrooms for the guests to enjoy. These parties are run by the conference and usually staffed by helpful conference volunteers, with cooperation from the hotel staff to keep the space private. Hotels tend to like our conferences—we don’t drink too much, we are polite to the staff, and we wear great outfits. Talk about the radical political act of deprivatizing sex! Major hotel chains now have policies about play parties, policies that support us.Yay.
近年来的美国，承办各种会议的酒店，也为各种生活方式的亚文化团体，提供了另一种聚会场地；有些酒店的舞厅里，还修建了模拟地牢，便于SM游戏。酒店里的派对，由群P团体内部的志愿者，和酒店一方的员工，共同承办，酒店方的员工确保群P场地的安全私密，不会受到外人的打扰。很多酒店都乐于接纳这样的商机，巴不得这类群P聚会多多益善；而作为顾客的笔者，以及笔者的朋友们，也从不酗酒生事，对酒店员工彬彬有礼，出入酒店时，衣装光鲜得体。——你看，这就是“让性爱打破‘私密’高墙”的激进政治行动！现在，大多数的连锁酒店，都针对群P派对，有相应的支持、协助政策：这一点，非常好！
Play party spaces tend to form communities. People try out the various parties in their area and usually return to one or two groups that they find congenial. As people get to know each other and share the special intimacy of sexual connection, they often become friends and form extended families. It is not unusual at all to find a sex party club hosting a benefit for a member who has had an accident or a major illness. These are communities, and communities take care of their own.
在群P派对的场所，很容易自发形成同好社团。很多人往往在自己所居之地，尝试了很多不同风格的群P派对之后，最终锁定其中一两个与自己特别投缘的小圈子。当圈内之人彼此熟悉，并在性爱互动中，产生了格外的亲密感，这些人就会成为密友，形成很多边界开放、不断扩展的大家庭。当某个伙伴遇到困难，例如发生意外或者重疾，群P派对的其ta众人，纷纷对其雪中送炭伸出援手，这种情形并不少见。群P派对的伙伴，形成了很多彼此互助的小家庭、小共同体。
聚众淫乱的礼义廉耻准则
Section titled “聚众淫乱的礼义廉耻准则”Group Sex Etiquette
We know they didn’t teach you in school how to behave at an orgy, and we bet your mother didn’t teach you either.
在聚众淫乱的群P狂欢中，需要怎么的礼义廉耻准则，笔者知道，无论学校还是家长，谁都没有教过你这些。
There is a particular etiquette needed for public sex environments, since everyone in them has let down some of their customary boundaries in order to get closer to each other. Social boundaries usually serve the purpose of keeping people at a predictable distance, so we all feel safe in our own personal space. Group sex poses the challenge of figuring out how to feel safe and comfortable while getting up close and very intimate with a whole bunch of presumably nice, sexy people—so new boundaries must be developed, learned, and respected so that everyone can feel safe enough to play.
在多人公开性爱、以聚众淫乱为荣的场合，共同恪守的节操规范、言行准则，从来都必不可少，因为这是一个非同寻常的安全空间：来到这里的每一个人，都需要拥有足够的安全感，才能够将平常日子里习惯成自然的心理防线和面具伪装，都暂时放下，从而和其ta人相互吸引、共享身心贴近的亲密。尤其是，在一般的社交场合，各自带着心防和伪装，这样的规则共识，能够让大家都都彼此的言行，保持着一种“尺度可预测”的安全状态；但是，在群P的场合，一般的社交规则被全然打破，那么，当你面对众多可爱之人、性感之人，怎样才能确保大家都有安全感，在彼此都愿意的情况下进行各种亲密互动，这确实是个挑战。为此，必须有一套新的人际规范、言行界限，或曰礼义廉耻、道德伦常的操守，需要形成风气，需要学而时习之，需要大家共同维护，从而让聚众淫乱游戏的每一个参与者，都能拥有充分的安全感。
Many party houses show you a list of rules as you come in or post them on the wall. Read them. They will make sense. Most places specify the level of safer-sex precautions they require, and provide condoms, rubber gloves, lubricants, dental dams, and so on. Even if you and your partner are fluid-bonded, you may be asked, or feel it is polite, to use latex barriers in a public environment. Ethical sluts obey the rules of the parties they choose to attend.
很多群P派对的室内场所，都会在你踏进门时，对你出示一系列的言行准则，或者将这些准则，张贴在墙壁上。你一定要好好阅读这些内容，其中的每句话，都关系到你的切身利益。例如针对性行为的安全程度、安全标准，多数群P场所，都有明文规定，并将此预先告知每一位参与者，此外还会为大家提供安全套、塑胶手套、润滑液、口腔橡皮障等物品。即使你和你的伴侣，一直“体液专一”，当你俩在群P场合做爱时，也可能被要求戴上安全套，或者，你们都会觉得在这样的场合，唯有在做爱时戴套，才显得自己有教养。理直气壮、道德高尚的婊子，只要选择参与某个地方的群P聚会，就应当遵守这个地方的规矩。
Responsibility in voyeurism is a must. You may watch what people do in public places, but always from a respectful distance. If the participants are aware of your presence, you are too close. Whether or not it is okay to masturbate while watching varies from place to place, but it’s always polite to keep your own excitement discreet enough that you don’t distract the good folks who are putting on such a nice show—they are probably not doing it for you, anyway. Also be aware that when you are close to people who are playing, they can hear you—this is not an appropriate place to tell your friend all about how awful your boss is or about your recent experiences at the proctologist.
窥淫，或曰观看别人做爱，一定要保持礼貌。当你来到群P场所，可能会乐于观看其ta人的种种表现，但是，通常都需要保持一定的距离，这是对别人的尊重。如果那些正在相互亲热、正在参与群P游戏的人，明确感受到你的存在，这就表明，你离ta们太近了。至于你在观看别人亲热时，能否进行自慰，不同的群P场所，相关规定也大不相同，有些场所允许，有些场所禁止。但一般来说，别把自己的性奋显露出来，避免对正在做好事、正在令你大饱眼福的伙伴，造成干扰：这是窥淫者的风度和涵养。毕竟，别人的性行为，并不是专门为了做给你看的。此外，当你走近正在做爱的人，还要留意别发出太大的声音，不要让你的噪音干扰到ta们。须知，群P的场所，不是你和朋友高谈阔论“老板如何操蛋”、“医生怎样为我检查直肠”之类的地方。
The boundary between social/talk space and play space is very important—when you enter play space, you enter into a different state of consciousness that tends to get you out of your intellect and into your body very quickly. Too much talking in play space can yank you back into everyday, verbal, nonsexual awareness.
另一个极其重要的行为规范，是务必要分清“社交与聊天的区域”，和“群P游戏的区域”，二者是截然不同的场所，不可混淆。当你步入群P玩乐的空间，往往需要把平常日子的为人处世之道，都要立刻从身上甩掉，身心都要尽快切换为另一种状态。在群P区域，进行太多的交谈，可能会让你性味索然，精神状态又被拖入“性缩力爆表”的“日常扯皮模式”。
Cruising is active but must not be intrusive. Ideally, a respectful request receives a respectful response, which means it’s okay to ask, and if the answer is “no, thank you,” that is okay too. Remember, people who come to orgies are pretty sophisticated, and they are here because they know what they want. If that person you found attractive doesn’t want to play with you right now, take it easy and find someone else. Pestering anyone at a sex party is unspeakably rude and will quickly earn you an invitation to the outside world.
在群P区域四处溜达，往往既有必要，又需注意：不要“横冲直撞”，让别人觉得你有侵犯性。最理想的做法，莫过于在相互尊重的前提下，彼此询问、应答——对相互亲密接触的邀请，对方既可以表示同意，也可以说：“不了，谢谢。”请记住，能够出现在群P场所的人，大都是经验丰富的老手，都非常清楚自己来到这里，究竟想要什么。如果那个对你有吸引力的人，此刻不想和你玩，你不妨云淡风轻地一笑而过，再去另找别人即可。在性爱派对上，反复纠缠着某个人，这是一种糟糕到令人无语的野蛮行为，会让你很快就遭到大家的排斥，被扫地出门。
Cruising at group sex parties is not that different from elsewhere, although perhaps more honest and to the point. Usually, you start with introducing yourself as a person:“Hi, I’m Dick, what’s your name?” is way preferable to “Hi, do you like my big dick?” People will talk for a bit, flirt a little, and then ask quite directly, “Would you like to play with me?” When the answer is yes, negotiation follows:“What do you like to do? Is there anything you don’t like? Let’s check that we both mean the same thing by safer sex, and by the way, I have this fantasy …”
在群P的地方溜达、寻宝，其实和在其他的地方，一边走一边寻找各种机会，并无不同——可能反而更加坦诚，更加直率。一般情况下，你要针对“你本人”来进行自我介绍：“你好，我叫飞机，打飞机的那个飞机。你怎么称呼？”而不要采用诸如“你想要我的大屌吗？”之类的开场白。彼此之间往往会短平快地交谈几句，稍作些挑逗，接下来就会快速进入正题，直截了当地问：“你愿意和我一起玩吗？”如果你表示同意、愿意，对方就会立刻与你协商：“你想要我怎么做？你有什么不接受的玩法吗？我们先确认下，关于安全性行为，咱俩之间所说的都是同一码事，没有误会和偏差。跟你说，我最期待的玩法是……”
关于非语言沟通，或曰肢体语言交流
Section titled “关于非语言沟通，或曰肢体语言交流”Nonverbal Communication
Cruising by body language also can work, as long as you are willing to be relaxed about any misunderstandings that may arise. We believe that it is important to learn how to put what you want into words, so you have an option for absolutely clear communication. Then you can pursue nonverbal cruising if you like it, knowing your good communication skills will back you up if you need them.
当你在群P的场所游逛，寻找合适的性爱搭档，采用话语之外的肢体语言，也能取得非常不错的效果——尽管相比之下，更容易造成一些彼此之间的理解偏差。笔者认为，学会把你的欲求，转化成语言文字，这个技能非常重要，这样你就能够完全依靠语言，进行极其清晰明确的表述。而在此基础上，你还可以继续扩大技能范围，在你认为适当的情况下，寻求非语言的交流方式，进行更为快捷的勾搭和勾引——当然，你要确保自己的语言沟通能力良好，随时可以作为更强大的后备力量。
Body language is about catching someone’s eye, exchanging a smile, moving your body closer—always checking the response. If you catch someone’s eye and they turn away, well, there’s your answer. Don’t take it personally; maybe they have another commitment, maybe they’re just not in the mood—people have as many reasons for not wanting to play as they do for wanting to play. If you move into someone’s personal space and they move closer, there’s another answer. It helps to initiate touch on a relatively neutral part of the body—a shoulder, a hand—and again, does the person move away, or closer? If they freeze, it’s probably a good idea to communicate with words.
群P场所的常见肢体语言，通常不外乎：和某个人目光接触或曰吸引某个人的注目、互相交换“你知我知”的微笑、让自己的身体和这个人更为接近——以上种种举动，都需要用心审视对方的反应。如果你盯着某个人的眼睛，那个人扭过头走开，这就是那个人对你的回答。这类“拒绝你”的无声回答，并不意味着对方不喜欢你这个人，也许此刻的那个人，和其ta人有约在先，或者根本无心与任何人调情。一个人不想玩性爱游戏，可以有无数种原因；正如一个人想要性爱，原因也会多得数不清。再如，当你非常靠近某个人，或曰步入了这个人的私人空间，而这个人也主动向你贴近，这是另一种答复，对你的肯定答复。一个非常可取的做法是：当你和对方进行最初的身体接触时，先接触“看上去和性爱关系不大”的部位，例如一边肩膀，或者一只手，进而查看这个人的举动：究竟是往后躲闪，还是向你靠近？如果对方的身体反应，有些僵硬、不自然，那么接下来，你最好通过话语，来和这个人交流。
不同性别的人，难免会有种种差异
Section titled “不同性别的人，难免会有种种差异”Gender Differences
We live in a society where people learn some pretty warped ideas about sex. Women learn that they are not supposed to be sexual without falling in love, men learn that sex is a commodity that you get from a woman, men may even learn that women themselves are commodities. Group sex only works when everybody is acknowledged as a person. Nobody likes being treated like a thing. To avoid such problems, most group sex environments that include both men and women restrict the number of single men who are invited or insist that no man is welcome without a female escort. These requirements are a sad last resort for dealing with an unpleasant reality, and we quite agree that it is unfair that men of good will get penalized for the intrusive behavior of men who evidently don’t know any better. But that’s how it is, and the only way we are going to change it is to work on our own behavior and teach our brothers and sisters what we learn. Pansexual environments that make a point of including a variety of people—gay, straight, bi, transgendered—tend to inspire more respect for all, and in such environments we get to learn from a lot of people whose lives and sexualities may be different from our own.
在我们所生活的社会环境里，很多人对性别的看法，都充满扭曲、失真。女人所习得的社会文化规训，经常是“平常不要和任何人发生性关系，除非自己深深地爱上了ta”；男人所习得的社会文化规训，经常是“性爱是一种商品，只要我开出足够优厚的条件，任何女人都会甘愿出卖给我”。然而，聚众淫乱唯有在大家都同意，或曰每一个参与者的人格尊严都被其ta同伴所充分尊重的前提下，才能得以实施（否则就变成了对某些人的性侵和霸凌）。“己所不欲勿施于人”，没有谁甘愿被别人当作一个物品、一件行货。为了避免顺性别直男所占比例太高，造成群P场域的性别权力失衡，一般情况下，男女混合的群P场所，对没有女性伴侣陪同的单男，要么限制其数量，要么干脆拒绝入内。上述规定，是为避免发生恶性事件，所设置的令人悲哀的最后防线——尽管笔者深知，这对那些温柔善良的好男人，是一种不公正的惩罚；他们受株连于素不相识的同性别败类，连带着背上了“疑似具有攻击性”的黑锅。而像我们这样的德才兼备的婊子，对此所能做的，唯有一方面改变自己的行为方式，突破并瓦解性别规训的糟粕框架，另一方面，更要乐于为人师、勇于为世范，去主动教育那些顺直男的同胞们，让他们不断吐出直男癌的狼奶。而在泛性恋的群P场所，众多彼此差异极大的人，包括同性恋者、直男直女、双性恋者和跨性别者，都包含在内：在这样的环境下，更容易形成人人相互尊重的文化氛围；在这样的环境下，我们能够接触到从人生经历到性爱模式都和自己大不相同的人；在这样的环境下，我们能够从各种各样的人身上，学到很多闪光点，扩大视野、进德修业。
Cruising is different by gender, and those differences become very visible when you compare gay men’s environments to lesbian orgies and see how they are similar to and different from hetero or bisexual groups. Gay men seem to feel safer with anonymous sex, and gay male cruising at baths or clubs is often nonverbal. One man might catch another’s eye, smile, walk across the room, touch a shoulder, and then embrace, with little or no verbal communication. Lesbians are often more cautious and tend to talk for a while before moving into the play room and getting down.
在群P场所游逛、找人勾搭，不同性别之人，于此也多有差异。当你亲眼目睹男同群P和女同群P的场所，对比上述二者，其差异显而易见；此外还可以和异性恋者、双性恋者的群P之处，进行对比，彼此之间的共同之处和相异之处，也大都非常明显。男同往往更敢于和并不怎么熟识的人，一拍即合地发生性关系，此外，他们在浴室或者客厅里相互勾搭，更喜欢用语言之外的方式进行交流。例如其中一个男子，可能会很快觉察到另一个男子对自己的目光觊觎，微笑示意作出回应，穿过房间走近对方，先对其勾肩搭背，随后双方便拥抱在一起——整个过程几乎不用说一句话。而女同之间，则往往更加谨慎，双方先要交谈好一会，才会一起步入群P玩乐的房间“滚床单”。
Women in all group sex environments tend to be less open than men to anonymous sex and to prefer some communication and personal connection first. When a woman seeks to realize a fantasy of anonymous sex with a number of people, often one of her friends or lovers will act as emcee, doing traffic control and whispering into a stranger’s ear, “She doesn’t like anything that tickles” or “I think she’d like it if you fucked harder.” The emcee takes the responsibility for safety and limit setting so the star can feel utterly free. This respect for caution is probably because women have had serious reasons to feel safe enough to let down their guard. There are no rights and wrongs less than safe around sex with strangers and need some support to feel to this situation—or what wrong there is exists in our history, which we can’t very well change. What is important is that everyone—male, female, or transgendered; straight, bi, or gay—has a right to feel safe in order to get free to enjoy sex.
无论在什么样的性爱环境下，女人面对并不知根知底的新欢，往往都会比男人，表现得更加谨慎、拘束，更愿意在做爱之前，先进行一番话语交流，先处一处朋友。当一个女人，终于决定让自己“和很多陌生人做爱”的幻想，成为当下的现实，往往也会先找个闺蜜或者情侣，在群P之时充当司仪，维持先来后到之类的秩序，并且对初来乍到的伙伴，进行耳提面命的小声叮嘱：“她不喜欢被胳肢，任何部位都不喜欢。”、“我想，如果你在肏她时，再多使点劲，她会觉得更爽。”关于安全和界限设定的一切，都由司仪负责掌控，这样一来，“女主角”就不用亲自操心，就能放心大胆地享受。你一定要遵守司仪的各种提醒，因为女人往往在只有感到非常安全的前提下，才会卸下防备、享受性爱。这些都无关对与错，因为真正要紧的是：在陌生人的簇拥下做爱，要确保安全，以及在这样的场合保持安全感，往往离不开一些支持和帮助。或者说，即使有些不当之处，由于其根源，是我们的历史文化，因此，在我们参与群P的当下时刻，很难立竿见影地改变什么：那么，我们就要承认现状、顺势而为。对每一个人而言——无论这个人，处于性别多元光谱的什么位置，以及有着怎样的性取向、性偏好——真正重要的是，都拥有“免于受恐惧”或曰享受安全感的权利，这是尽情享受性快感的前提。
达成你情我愿的共识
Section titled “达成你情我愿的共识”Establishing Consent
Consent is an absolute requirement. Naive people sometimes assume that when two or three or four people are already having sex, it is okay to just join in and start fondling somebody. Well, it isn’t, because you didn’t ask and because you don’t know what these people want or what their limits are. So you might do the wrong thing, and the people you tried to join will have to stop whatever they are having so much fun doing to deal with you, and they will be justifably angry. At you.
“你情我愿”的性同意，是一个绝对容不得半点含糊的必须条件。头脑简单、缺乏经验的人，时常会想当然地自认为，只要两三个人正在公共场所做爱，自己也完全可以“加入战团”，对其中的任何人都可以随便摸随便抱。但事实上，这是不对的，因为你没有事先询问，根本不晓得这些正在做爱的人，究竟喜欢怎么玩，以及有哪些不可触碰的界限——这就导致你可能做出错误的举动，你所想要加入的那个性爱群体，也会被你打乱节奏，不得不中断享受，应对你所带来的麻烦；ta们即使对你发火，也情有可原，责任完全在你。
How are you going to get consent from people in the middle of a hot fuck? Tap them on the shoulder and say, “Will you please stop a moment so I can ask if I can join you?” There is just about no way to join a sexual scene that has already started unless you are already lovers with all the people involved, and even then you should be careful. When we wonder if it’s okay to join friends of ours who have already begun to play, we usually watch from a respectful distance till somebody catches our eye and either beckons us over or doesn’t. Respect for boundaries, as we have said before, is mandatory if everyone is going to feel safe enough to play freely and without constraint. Don’t be the person who makes the environment unsafe.
面对正在热火朝天做爱的人，你该怎样做，才能和ta们达成你情我愿的共识呢？你可以轻轻拍一下其中某个人的肩膀，并对ta们说：“你可以先停一会吗？我想要问问，我能不能和你们一起玩？”如果那几个人玩得正欢，恐怕你就无法加入进去，除非你和其中的每一个人，都早已经形成了情侣关系——但即使这样，你依然需要小心询问、小心试探，不能自以为是地“霸王硬上弓”。当你对“我是否可以和这些伙伴一起玩”举棋不定的时候，你其实已经开始参与了这场多人游戏。笔者经验是：通常会和ta们保持一定的距离，直到ta们当中的某个人，和我们对上了目光，接下来，对方可能招呼我们“来吧，一起上”，也可能没有作出我们所期待的接纳信号。正如笔者在前文中所言：对别人的一切界限、一切“不行”，我们都必须尊重，这是确保每一个人都能真正拥有安全感，从而无拘无束乐享性爱的前提条件。无论如何，都不要成为破坏安全氛围的害群之马。
If you are playing at a party and someone invades your space, you are quite right to tell that person to move away. It is also appropriate to let your host know about intrusive people and pushy come-ons—party hosts develop skills to talk with people about appropriate behavior and explain why the etiquette is as it is, and if the person will not learn, the host has the power to remove that person from the guest list.
当你在群P场所玩时，如果有人公然入侵你的安全空间，你绝对有权利请那个家伙“滚远点”。你也完全可以向这场群P活动的主办方，投诉那个“侵犯者”，并促使主办方采取适当的方式，和那个人沟通，令其知晓行为规范的意义何在；如果那个人不肯吸取教训，继续做出侵犯他人的举动，主办方有权利将此人“拉黑”，让此人再也无法参加这里的群P活动。
当你第一次参加群P，究竟期待得到什么？
Section titled “当你第一次参加群P，究竟期待得到什么？”Watch Your Expectations
Most people approach their first group sex party in a mental maelstrom of fears, fantasies, and wild expectations about what might or, worse yet, might not happen. We strongly recommend that you get a grip on yourself, acknowledge that you actually don’t know what is going to happen, and go to the party with the expectation that you will be proud of yourself if you manage to walk in the door. If you stay for an hour and watch, you get a gold star. If you manage to introduce yourself to someone and hold a conversation, give yourself a medal of honor.
大多数人在第一次参加群P聚会的途中，内心都难免像个风暴漩涡：既有想入非非的白日美梦，又有如临大敌的胆战心惊，既不甘心让美梦成为泡影，又怀疑这其实是个深不可测的陷坑。笔者强烈建议你：保持理智清醒的平常心，承认自己对接下来可能发生的事情都一无所知，如果你一定要有所期待，那就不妨期待自己在踏入群P派对的大门之后，从此拥有了一份“成功实现自我突破”的自豪回忆。如果你能够在群P场所，驻足观看一个小时，你就获得了一张“金卡”；如果你鼓起勇气向某个人作自我介绍，并且双方能够交谈片刻，你就等于赢得了一块荣誉奖牌。
Going to an orgy is very challenging. Expect to be nervous.Expect to worry. Expect a fashion crisis, and allow at least two hours to get dressed. Helpful hint: build your outfit from fabrics that feel sensual—silk, leather, latex—so you feel sensuous too. Avoid fragile antiques or pricey designer clothes if you want to fuck in them. Dress to feel hot, look good, and be comfortable—it’s bad enough to have your stomach churning, you don’t need your shoes pinching.
参与、融入一场群交性爱狂欢，（往往对新人而言）充满挑战。紧张不安，在所难免；顾虑焦灼，在所难免。此外，你还可能反复审视自己的形象外表，总是担心自己看上去像个土包子——那就索性允许自己，花上至少两个钟头，来进行穿搭扮靓。笔者告诉你一个很管用的小贴士：不妨让自己的全身装束，都尽量骚气、撩人，例如丝绸、皮革、乳胶之类的穿着，都非常适合，总之，你觉得怎样更骚，那就怎样打扮。此外，要避免容易损坏或者太过昂贵的装束，除非你只想旁观，不想加入“战群”真操实干。穿着打扮，除了风骚，更要舒适：当你初次光临群P场所，那种“肝儿颤”的感觉，已经够你喝一壶了，何必再给自己套上一双硌脚的小鞋？
Many parties specify when doors are open and when they’re closed, because otherwise all these nervous people will arrive late after spending hours working up their courage and their outfits, and the party hosts will never get any time to play.
很多群P派对，还会对入场时间，作出明确规定，超出迎宾时段，就谢绝入内。因为如果不这样做，那些“贼心有余，贼胆不足”的人，会一直在门外拖拖拉拉、犹豫不决，或者没完没了地打扮，等到这些人终于鼓足勇气，天晓得已是猴年马月——群P游戏永远无法按照之前的约定，如时进行。
If this is your first party, take it easy on yourself. Promise yourself, and each other, that you will leave if either one of you gets too uncomfortable. Establish a signal, perhaps a hand on the elbow, to let your partner know that you need a private place to talk or that you need support. Use another signal—Janet uses “Calgon,” from the old TV commercials that said “Calgon, take me away”—to communicate to your partner that you’d like to leave soon, with the understanding that a partner who’s happily cruising or flirting or fooling around may need some time to wrap up whatever’s going on so that you can leave.
当你第一次参加群P，一定要让自己身心放松。如果你和同伴一起参加，应当彼此作出承诺，如果你或者同伴之中的任何人，对群P现场的氛围感到严重不适，就一起离开。和你的同伴，事先商定好一个暗号，例如把一只手放在另一边的胳膊肘上，以此告知同伴“我们一起找个不被打扰的地方聊一聊”，或者“我需要一些帮助支持”。如果你想要立刻离开，也需要另一个暗号，让同伴知晓。本书作者之一的珍妮特，会在这种情况下，对同伴说出“Calgon”一词，这个词汇来自很久以前的一句电视广告语：“Calgon，带我离开！” 不过，你的同伴也许正在畅享招蜂引蝶之乐，听到你要求马上离开的暗号，难免要花点时间进行收尾——对此，想必你也会理解。
Go with the goal of making a few acquaintances and getting familiar with the scene and your reactions to it. If you do get inspired to play and find someone who wants to play with you, that’s fine, and if you don’t, that’s fine too. Just walking into a play environment for the first time requires a lot of courage, so be proud of yourself. Always remember that this is your first party, potentially the first of many. You don’t need to accomplish a lifetime of fantasies tonight. You have the rest of your life to do that. You just need to take your first steps.
当你第一次参加群P，不妨带着这些目的：认识一些人；让自己熟悉下环境；明白自己在这样的场景下，会产生怎样的身心反应。如果你爱上了这种玩法，结识了两情相悦的玩伴，这固然可喜可贺；如果你没能达到上述结果，也同样不虚此行。即使你只是在群P玩乐的场所溜达一会，也足以彰显你的非凡勇气，你也应当为之自豪。别忘了，这只是你在群P领域，所迈出的第一个足迹，说不定你还会走得更远。你根本不需要在第一次参加群P的晚上，就去实现自己这辈子的所有幻想，因为你将来的日子还有很长。只要你敢于迈出第一步，就万事大吉。
和伴侣一起参加群P
Section titled “和伴侣一起参加群P”Couples at the Orgy
Deal with your relationship before you go to the party. This is important. Are you going as a couple, to show off your incredible sexiness? Are you cruising for thirds and fourths? Or are you going as two separate individuals, to meet people and share sex with them? If one of you connects with a hot number, is the other welcome to join in? Do you need your partner’s agreement before you play with anyone? If you need to pause in a flirtation to check in with your partner, experienced sluts will admire your thoughtfulness and integrity. Are you committed to going home together, or is it okay for one or the other of you to sleep out, and if both want to, what about the babysitter? The reason you decide all this in advance is that it is way too ugly to have a disagreement about this sort of thing in public, where if you do disagree, you are likely to feel embarrassed and angry and make a big unhappy mess.
和伴侣一起参加群P，一定要事先打理好彼此的亲密关系，这一点非常关键。你是否想和伴侣一起，在众目睽睽之下展现性感魅力？你们是否正在寻求“第三者”、“第四者”，加入共同的亲密生活？或者你们已经决定，你和伴侣在群P派对中，各玩各的，分别寻找自己的好友和床伴？如果你们两口子之中的某一个人，和外人勾搭得火热，另一个人是否方便加入？当你和别人寻欢作乐，是否需要提前得到伴侣的许可？顺便一提，当你和别人调情时，提出“暂停片刻，向我的老伴儿打个招呼、做个事先报备”的要求，那些有经验的婊子，反而会赞许你的贴心和真诚。此外，你和伴侣确定要在群P之后一起回家，还是可以和外人过夜？——如果是后一种，究竟是“谁都可以独自和外人一起走”，还是“许我不许你”、“许你不许我”，或者是，如果和外人过夜，必须两口子一起参与？如果你们两口子，一起和新欢共度良宵，家里的孩子，谁负责临时照料？类似的事项，都要提前达成明确共识，否则一旦出现任何问题，两口子在众人面前闹矛盾，不但丑态百出，更难免令你和伴侣，都羞愤难当，造成严重的心理创伤和纠结。
Two friends of ours got locked in a disagreement about going to sex parties. They both wanted to go, but one wanted to go and play with the other, and the other wanted to play the field. What to do? Well, there are parties at least once a month around here, so they decided to go one month as a couple to do things together, and the next to support each other in separate cruising.
本书的两位作者，有两位共同的好友，张三和李四，曾在一起参加群P之前，因为一个问题的分歧而僵持不下。这两个人都想参加群P，但张三想在群P现场和李四玩激情游戏，李四则希望和在场的其ta更多人玩。这该怎么办呢？不要紧，反正在张三和李四的住所附近，此类群P派对，每月至少会有一次，于是这两个人决定，这个月的群P，彼此作为伴侣，形影不离；下个月的群P，彼此在“必要时相互支持”的前提下，分开行动，各自寻欢。
We like to watch couples make love with each other at parties—you can see the intimacy, and how well they know each other’s ways, how beautifully they fit together, how exquisitely orchestrated lovemaking can become with years of practice. We like it as a fine experience for the voyeur and because we can learn a lot from watching people who are experts on each other. We like to point out that showing off your wondrous beauty together is excellent advertising for the next time when you come to the party ready to welcome new partners.
本书两位作者，都热衷于在群P场所，观看那些长期的伴侣，究竟如何做爱——你可以从中看到鱼水交欢的亲密，更能从中看到，伴侣双方对彼此的身心特征了解得多么透彻，相互磨合得多么融洽，基于多年实操的熟能生巧，能够达到何等完美的境界。观看别的伴侣做爱，对笔者而言，无疑是一种美好的体验，因为，通过观摩彼此亲密无间之人的性爱互动，自己能够从中学到很多。笔者还想进一步指出：你和伴侣一起，当众展现灵肉交欢的美丽，这是一个绝佳的交友广告，非常有助于你们结识更多的新欢。
Play parties can also offer you the opportunity to process fears and jealousies about your partner. How does it feel to watch your partner make love with another person? Is it really awful? You might be surprised to find yourself feeling pretty neutral, like “Gee, I thought that would bother me but actually it doesn’t!” You might like the chance to observe your lover, how powerful she looks when she thrusts, how sweet he looks when he comes. It might even turn you on. There is definitely arousal to be found in taking risks. Some couples find that group sex can rev up their sex life at home by providing a lot of stimulus, new ideas to try out, and the motivation and energy to make their home life as hot as an orgy.
和伴侣一起参加群P，还能针对彼此在亲密关系中的忧虑和醋意，提供一个及时发现问题、妥善处理问题的良机。当你目睹老伴儿和别人做爱，究竟是怎样的感受？这真的会让你非常不爽吗？也许你会惊奇地发现，自己在这个时候，内心非常平静，没觉得好也没觉得坏：“我原本担心自己无法忍受这种情况，但其实，这根本没啥大不了！” 也许，你还会喜欢上这种能够“局外旁观”自己爱侣的机会：当她在性爱中使出全力，是何等的能量爆棚、武德充沛；当他在最爽的时刻，看上去多么可爱动人——这个过程，可能也会令你格外性奋。伴侣双方一起在群P活动中“探险”，确实堪比催情仙丹。有不少对伴侣都觉察到：聚众淫乱的精神风貌，也会带到自家床上，这将为彼此的亲密关系，不断注入新的能量负熵，不断开拓新的前景征程，从而“流水不腐，户枢不蠹”，实现长久的“性保鲜”。
那些不愉快的情形，及其背后可能的偏见
Section titled “那些不愉快的情形，及其背后可能的偏见”Buttons and Biases
Expect to get your buttons pushed. Expect to discover your biases. At a group sex party you will share unprecedented intimacy with a bunch of strangers, and sometimes that will be difficult. You might start into a three-way with your girlfriend and another man, which seems like a hot idea but might turn out to push some buttons. Yeah, we know, you set out to both make love to her, but there you are, with this man, being sexual, and probably in physical contact, and how does that feel?
做好这样的心理准备：在群P场合，你可能会遭遇一些不愉快的情形，以及，你也会觉察到自己的一些偏见。你在群P聚会中，也许会和一大帮陌生人进行紧密接触，这种过去从未有过的情况，在一些时候，可能会为你带来困扰。例如，你和女友，以及另一个新结识的男人，一起玩3P——按照你的初衷，是打算和那个男人，一起和自己的女友做爱；但接下来的发展，却变成了你对那个男人，发生了性趣，甚至有了身体接触。想想看，这样的情形，会带来怎样的感受？
We like to attend pansexual group sex parties, which means that attendees may identify as gay or lesbian or bisexual or hetero or transgendered but are generally comfortable and happy to play side by side with people whose desires and identities may be entirely different from their own. We are always running into issues about the unfamiliar: the lesbian who has never been naked in the presence of men; the gay man who fears judgment from women or violence from straight men; the transgendered woman who gets to wonder if that person who is so attracted to her knows what she’s got under her skirt, and does she care, and if she cares what is she going to do?
本书的两位作者，都喜欢参与泛性恋人群的群交聚会，这意味着，尽管与会者的自我认同，可能是男同志、女同志、双性恋者、异性恋者或者跨性别者，但都能和众多性欲望与身份认同都截然不同于自己的人，心不设防地欢聚一堂，各自寻求属于自己的性福。我们随时都会遇到全然陌生的情况：例如女同性恋者，第一次在有男人出没的地方脱光衣服；例如男同性恋者，终于克服了对女性评判和直男暴力的恐惧。再如，一位出生时被指派性别为“男”、如今已经跨过性别藩篱的女生，在泛性恋的群P聚会中，看上了某个人，却又开始担心：那个人是否知道我“短裙下面的实际情况”（可能没有做性征重置手术，或者手术效果不甚理想）？一旦确定知道了实情，会不会介意？如果对方介意此事，我又该怎么办？
Whatever your prejudices are—the people at this party are too old, too young, too male, too female, too queer, too straight, too fat, too thin, too white, too ethnic, whatever—it really is good for you to learn to get bigger than your biases. Sexy, too.
我们心中的偏见，难免形形色色，例如，嫌弃群P聚会中的某个人，长得太老或者太嫩，性别气质太过粗犷或者太过娇弱，嫌弃某个人不男不女举止怪异，嫌弃某个人一副钢铁直男的派头仿佛把“恐同”二字写在脸上，嫌弃某个人太胖或者太瘦，嫌弃某个人太像个“红脖子”白人或者太像个“非我族类”的老外，等等。但无论如何，学会突破自己的偏见，将胸怀拓宽，真正对你大有益处，也是让你变得更加性感可人。
那些令你难以启齿的尴尬之事
Section titled “那些令你难以启齿的尴尬之事”Everything Embarrassing You Never Thought of Doing in Public
In our fantasies, we all come together as smoothly as Fred and Ginger, carried away by the music on a rising tide of passion—and sometimes it will be like that. But you probably will need to practice first, just like Fred and Ginger. Your erection might refuse to cooperate as you near the moment of truth, especially when you suddenly remember you need to put a condom on it. Orgasm might be more difficult to focus on in a noisy environment with an unfamiliar partner. What if you set out to play with someone and you can’t find your turn-on?
按照我们一厢情愿的美梦，当我们和任何人做爱时，都应该像双人舞蹈明星在音乐下的配合，不但充满激情，而且处处顺滑无碍，宛如行云流水。有些时候，我们也许能够做到，但是，这需要和性伴侣一起，事先进行大量的练习，就像“台上一分钟，台下十年功”的双人舞明星。否则，你的老二可能在关键时刻“不听使唤”、勃不起来——尤其是当你突然意识到“现在需要戴上安全套”的瞬间。此外，当你在声音嘈杂的环境下，和互不熟悉的伴侣做爱，也可能难以身心集中、达到高潮。当你在群P的地方，已经和某个人滚倒在一起，自身却无法“来电”，这种情况，该怎么办？
If you find yourself internally panicking, we encourage you to breathe. Slow down. Remember that you are not in a race, and you are not in a hurry. This is not the Olympics. You have nothing to prove—you and your new friend are setting out to do things that feel good with your bodies. Touch feels good. Stroking feels good. Taking time feels good. Slow down enough so that you can truly feel what you are doing.Worrying about the future will not help you get there: focus on what you are feeling in the present.Erections and orgasms might come, might go, but you can never go wrong by doing what feels good.
当你发觉自己，此刻内心慌乱，笔者向你建议：调整呼吸，节奏放缓。切记，性爱不是赛场，一切都用不着匆忙；群P场所不是奥运会，不是你向大家展现任何能力的地方。你和你的新伙伴，所要做的一切，都仅仅是为了取悦自己的身心。身体接触，能带来很好的感觉；相互爱抚，能带来很好的感觉；缓慢轻柔，能带来很好的感觉。当你足够缓慢，就会真真切切地感受到自己所作所为。担心“下一步如何”，对此时此刻的你，毫无帮助，只有添乱，所以，你只需专注于当下的感受，就足够了。至于接下来会不会勃起，会不会达到高潮，都是虚无缥缈、来去无常的浮云，那就索性“爱咋地咋地”，只要让自己在此时此刻，玩得尽可能舒爽，就绝对不会错。
The noise and hectic energy of a party can lead people to rush, when slowing down is the best way to connect with your turn-on. People don’t get turned on by magic, at least not very often, or very reliably. And different people are turned on in very different ways. A very important kind of self-knowledge will come in handy at these times: know what turns you on. Whether it’s biting on the neck or sucking on the backs of knees, when you know what gets your juices flowing you can ask for it, and then your play partner will know what turns you on and feel freer to tell you what turns her on, and before you know it there you all are, completely turned on and floating down the river of unbridled lust.
群P活动中的热闹氛围，会让人身心浮躁，凡事都急于求成。在这种情况下，刻意放缓，尤为关键，越是“不来电”，就越是急不得，保持平常心顺其自然就足够了。每个人都很难像发生了奇迹一般，性欲说来就来，即使偶尔有过一两次，也并非常态，根本指望不上。此外，不同的人，唤起自身性欲的方式，也各不相同。对自己相关情况的充分认知，往往能在关键时刻派上用场，换言之，你需要明确地知晓让自己“来电”的方式。只要你清楚，对方怎么做，能让你尽快潮吹，或者流出前列腺液——比如咬你的脖子，或者舔你膝盖的后面——你就可以告知对方、要求对方。这样一来，你的那个性伴侣，不但知道了应当如何刺激你的性欲，而且也将敢于向你道出ta自己的“来电”方式。很可能，你们的心智还没有反应过来，身体就下意识地照此行动，双方都性欲高涨，在情欲的长河中，无拘无束、顺其自然地漂流而下。
We’ll end this chapter with a true story of love discovered during public sex, just to give you some inspiration to explore.
在本章的最后，笔者告诉你一个关于聚众淫乱的真实故事，就是为了教唆你、引诱你，在这条路上试试看。
June had never been to a play party before. That’s evidently what they call orgies in California, she mused. Well, at least it’s a lesbian orgy. How on earth, she wondered, did I come to be the guest of honor at an orgy?
在此之前，茱恩从未亲身参与过聚众淫乱。而她刚刚参加过的派对，明摆着就是在加州常见的群P。茱恩简直难以相信，自己竟会成为这种活动的嘉宾。“但至少，这是一个女同性恋者专属的性爱狂欢。可是话又说回来，我究竟是怎样‘陷进去’的呢？”
Actually, she knew how it came about. She was visiting her dear friend Flash in San Francisco, and Flash announced that she had the use of a house in the country for the weekend, and she wanted to throw a party and introduce June to her friends. Sounds like fun, thought June…and then Flash began to talk about having a Chick Rite to celebrate the advent of spring by setting up mattresses and safer-sex supplies in the middle of the living room.
其实，茱恩一直心如明镜。在此之前，她到旧金山，看望一个名叫炫姐的闺蜜。炫姐告诉茱恩：“我在郊外有套房，周末住进去。” 此外，她还希望把茱恩介绍给自己的众多好友。当时茱恩觉得这样也不错，多些朋友就能多些欢乐。说到这里，炫姐忽然提议，要举办一场“乙女祭”（Chick Rite），以此喜迎新春——她在卧室中间，铺上好些软垫，又把安全性爱的各种用品，都放在上面。
June had argued and at first had refused to attend. But Flash talked her into it, pointing out that she didn’t have to actually have sex with anybody if she didn’t want to. June finally said okay, adding that if she couldn’t stand it she would hike down to the local coffeehouse with a book. So Flash went on setting up the house for the convenience of sexual pleasure, and June hid in the kitchen making dip, one party function that she at least understood.
茱恩起初表示“拒绝参与”，但炫姐一直撺掇她，并且明确告诉她：“在这种场合，只要你自己不想要，就可以拒绝和任何人发生真实的性爱。” 最后茱恩同意出席，附加条件是：如果她受不了群P现场的氛围，随时可以拂袖而出，带上一本书，到附近的咖啡屋。于是，炫姐继续将房间布置成性爱游乐场的样子，茱恩则躲进厨房，做调味酱。任何派对都要吃饭，调味酱不可或缺，茱恩至少还知道这点。
As the guests began to arrive, June began to wonder whether she’d be able to stay at this event. She was introduced to a parade of the most outrageous dykes she’d ever seen, femmes and butches like birds in bright plumage, sporting exotic garments designed to display a gallery of tattoos, gleaming here and there with jewelry set in body parts that June did not want to think about. And they were all so young! June felt the full weight of her forty-eight years. She figured you can’t go wrong being polite, so she said the same how-do-you-dos she would anywhere else, wondering how she’d respond if one of these enthusiastic orgiasts actually told her how she did do.
当宾客纷纷登门，茱恩心里开始打鼓，拿不准自己能否在这样的环境里呆下去。茱恩被炫姐介绍给她一大帮拉拉朋友。在此之前，茱恩从未见到过气场如此强大、外表如此放浪的拉拉。只见这些拉拉，无论T还是P，大都穿着性感撩人的运动系短装，露出身上花花绿绿的刺青，浑身珠宝首饰闪闪发亮，宛如展开五彩翅膀的凤凰。一些人把珠宝首饰镶嵌在身上，让自己所谓的私密部位，成为光彩照人、备受瞩目的“画廊”：这样的情况，茱恩过去根本无法想象。尤其是，每个人看上去，都充满青春活力！茱恩不禁想到了自己——48岁的年纪——内心顿时充满压力。她暗自打定主意：无论如何，别慌张，别出错，别当众失礼。于是，茱恩对在场的每一个人，都用同样的话语，进行简单地问候，同时心里一直在盘算：这些“性爱狂人”，如果有谁和我搭讪，向我讲述她的风流韵事，我究竟该如何回应。
In, at last, came a couple of women of unabashed middle age. One of them, Carol, was a dead ringer for June’s Great-Aunt Mary, if Great-Aunt Mary had ever chosen to dress in high butch gear complete with boots and cowboy hat. June felt relieved to have found one woman she could relate to. Then Carol smiled a dazzling smile and announced that she would like to put her hand in June’s cunt.
最后入场的嘉宾，包括一对举止大方、毫无羞怯的中年妇女。其中有一人，名叫凯罗尔，其容貌举止，和茱恩的姨奶奶非常相似，唯一的不同，是姨奶奶从来不会穿得这么“爷们儿”，不会足蹬高脚靴、头戴牛仔帽。茱恩忽然感到松了口气，因为她终于找到一个可以搭讪的人。接下来，凯罗尔不断对茱恩报以微笑，并对茱恩说：我想把一只手，放进你的屄里。
June, swallowing a gasp but resolutely polite, said that she didn’t really feel quite ready for that, and Carol replied cheerily, “Okay, then, I’ll check in with you later.” Great Goddess, thought June, there’s no escape. June knew about fisting, had learned to do it with a lover who liked it, knew it was safe when done properly—but it seemed an odd way to get acquainted with someone whose name she’d only learned in the last half hour.
茱恩顿时惊得倒抽了一口气，但她依然尽量保持礼貌，说自己此刻，还没有做这种事的心理准备。凯罗尔欢快地回答道：“没问题，你先等一会，我去签个到，再来和你聊。” 我的老天妈！茱恩暗想，我现在已经逃不掉了！茱恩知道，这是一种只要合理操作就非常安全的玩法；她的一个情侣对拳交非常喜欢，茱恩也由此受到“传染”。然而，如果通过拳交，和一个半小时前刚知道名字的人，实现从陌生到熟悉的“破冰”，这就未免有些离奇。
Then Lottie came in—close to June’s age, but not dressed like it. Lottie’s obviously dyed, flaming red curls set off a black chiffon dress through which could be clearly seen long black stockings, a black leather corset, and a great deal of voluptuous pale flesh. How does she balance on those heels, June wondered, as Lottie hugged, kissed, and chatted her way through the progressively less clothed mass of partygoers.June overheard Lottie thanking various women for their participation in a previous orgy held in celebration of Lottie’s fiftieth birthday, Do these people ever get together and not have sex, wondered June.
恰在此时，一个叫拉蒂的女人，也走了进来。拉蒂的年纪和茱恩接近，但她俩的着装风格却大不相同。拉蒂一头卷发，染得火红（明显不是天生的，而是染出来的），和一身黑缎衣装，对比极其鲜明；透过她的黑缎裙，里面的黑色长袜、黑色束腰，以及大面积的浅色性感肌肤，都清晰可见。此刻茱恩简直搞不懂：当拉蒂和众多衣着越发暴露的来宾，拉拉扯扯、接吻拥抱、四处聊天时，她脚下的高跟鞋，为何能够一直保持平衡。茱恩偶尔听到拉蒂，向众多打扮各异的女子道谢，感激她们在此之前，拨冗参与了另一场群P，共同庆祝拉蒂的50岁生日。“这样的一帮人，恐怕从未有过不发生行为的聚会吧？”
Puppy piles began to form on the floor in front of the couch where June was sitting—untidy heaps of women necking and petting, smiling and laughing, Lottie and Carol conspicuously among them. June decided to retreat to the deck, where she could perhaps soak out her terror in the hot tub.
茱恩坐在沙发上，面前的地板上，忽然有很多衣着不整的女人，搂着脖子抱着腰，或抛媚眼或大笑，玩起了一种名叫“小狗叠叠乐”（puppy piles）的游戏。拉蒂和凯罗尔，都非常高调地厕身于其间。茱恩决定溜到一旁的木制平台上，那里有热水木桶，她可以去洗个澡，缓解下内心的惊恐。
The hot tub was quieter, and June managed to chat with a few women and began feeling marginally more comfortable. Then Lottie reappeared. Off came the dress, the stockings, the shoes—June found herself wondering what it would feel like if she could see Lottie’s pussy and instantly wondered if anyone else had noticed her looking. Lottie slipped into the warm water and immediately asked June if she would rub her neck, because it felt stiff. “Sure,” June heard herself say, “I’d be happy to.” Oh, no, she thought, what have I let myself in for?
洗热水澡的木桶，远比群P的房间里清静。茱恩终于开始感到舒适了一点，勉强能够和另外几个正在进行木桶浴的女人聊些闲话。这时候，拉蒂再次出现，服装和鞋袜统统脱光。此刻的茱恩，忽然觉察到自己，分明正在觊觎着拉蒂的阴部；猛然间，她又想到：我这色眯眯直勾勾的眼神，这会不会被别人看到？拉蒂轻巧地进入热水桶中，开门见山地问茱恩：我的脖子酸痛，你帮我揉揉行不行？“没问题。”茱恩听到自己脱口说出，“我很愿意。”但与此同时，茱恩心里所想的却是：不要这样吧？我这是让自己往火坑里跳吗？
Lottie’s skin felt warm and silky under her fingers, and June rubbed and soothed. June felt relaxed by the rhythm of massage and reassured as Lottie conversed about perfectly normal things: her work and June’s, their philosophies of life, June’s Buddhism, Lottie’s paganism. Eventually, Lottie’s neck relaxed, and the hot tub began to feel too warm, and Lottie brightly suggested they find out what was going on inside. She climbed out of the tub, pulled on her stockings and heels, and darted inside. Holy Minerva, thought June, can I follow her in there? No, she decided firmly, I can’t. June found a table in a corner on the patio and determinedly admired the stars.
茱恩分明地感到，在自己的指尖下，拉蒂的肌肤温暖而丝滑。茱恩揉搓着拉蒂的身体，这种按摩的节奏，让茱恩也放松下来；尤其是，拉蒂和她聊天的内容，都是一些极其寻常的话题——比如各自的工作和人生观，比如茱恩所信的佛教，和拉蒂不信任何主流宗教的“邪修”——这让茱恩觉得很放心。拉蒂方才僵硬的脖子，也渐渐松弛了，她开始嫌桶里的水太热，欢快地向茱恩提议：离开木桶、走进房间，看看那里折腾成了什么德行。茱恩眼看着拉蒂爬到木桶外面，套上长筒袜和高跟鞋，一溜烟钻进屋里，心里暗自叫苦：我的天啊，我要不要和她一起进屋呢？不行，我做不到！走出木桶的茱恩，在露台的角落，找了张桌子，毅然决然地待在那里，仰望星空。
Lottie, meanwhile, was finding she had a thing or two to think about as well. In the living room, her friends were happily disporting themselves on couches, in armchairs, and in front of the fire, but Lottie was thinking about June. What is it about her that turns me on so much? Does she like me? Will she play with me? Doesn’t look like she’s used to playing at parties—ah, well, there’s always a first time. Now where did that girl go?
这时的拉蒂，忽然想到了自己还有一两件事，总是难以释怀。在卧室里，拉蒂的众多朋友，遍布于沙发上、扶手椅子上，以及火炉前，各自纵情寻欢，但拉蒂却怎么也放心不下茱恩。“她究竟为何令我如此心动？她喜欢我吗？她愿意和我一起玩吗？她是不是不习惯这样的群P派对呢？确实，在这种场合，经常会有第一次参加的人。现在，那个女子，究竟到哪里去了？”
Lottie scanned the living room, but there was no June to be found. The living room was actually pretty interesting, and Lottie contemplated giving up the chase and finding a friend to play with, but intrigue triumphed. She made her way toward the kitchen, stepping over various happy people and lingering here and there to appreciate some particularly exciting activity. Pausing to check out the dip and replenish her blood sugar, Lottie looked out the window and there was June, hiding out on the patio.
拉蒂环顾整个卧室，也没有看到茱恩。卧室里充满欢乐，拉蒂试图不再寻找茱恩，另找别人玩耍，但她无论如何，都依然对茱恩难以释怀。于是，拉蒂走向厨房，一路上到处都是玩得热火朝天的伙伴，当她看到有些人的玩乐方式令自己特别感性趣，便驻足片刻、围观一会。拉蒂停下脚步，吃了些酱料补充下自己的血糖，忽然隔着窗户，看到茱恩正躲在外面的露台。
Ah, here’s the opportunity, thought Lottie as she arranged a few goodies on a plate and trotted outside to share them with June. But, although they were chatting quite amiably, Lottie felt she wasn’t connecting. Her most flirtatious sallies were met with no response whatsoever: June, petrified, would only breathe deep and consciously hold as still as she could. Lottie, frustrated, decided on the direct approach.”I think you’re really attractive. Would you like to play with me? What sort of things do you like to do?” June, cornered again, stammered, “I don’t think I’m ready to have sex in public, so sorry.”
“啊呀，机会来了！”想到这里，拉蒂把一些小零食装在盘子里，一路小跑着冲出去，拿到茱恩面前，和她一起吃。但是，尽管双方能够非常友好地聊天，但拉蒂总觉得茱恩一直和自己有所隔阂，根本达不到心有灵犀、一见钟情的程度。于是，拉蒂说了一些具有挑逗性的俏皮话，结果茱恩非但没有“来电”的回应，反而被惊得目瞪口呆，一个劲地深呼吸。拉蒂的挑逗，闹了个“烧鸡大窝脖”，她在沮丧中，索性单刀直入地问道：“我真的很喜欢你，你愿意陪我一起玩吗？你喜欢做些什么事情？” 茱恩仿佛被逼到绝境，结结巴巴地说：“我恐怕无法在众人面前做爱，非常抱歉。”
Just then, Carol, sans cowboy hat but still wearing her boots although she seemed to have lost her shirt somewhere, sauntered up to the table and sat down. While June wondered how she could disappear into the bushes without appearing gauche, Lottie greeted Carol by placing her thigh—which Carol, being a woman who knew how to act, promptly stroked and admired—in Carol’s lap. Lottie, not out of revenge but simply from a desire not to waste a perfectly good party, asked Carol:“How’s your dance card tonight? Got room for me?”
刚好在这时，凯罗尔溜达到茱恩和拉蒂的桌前坐下，她的牛仔帽已经不见，短裙也不知丢到了哪里，却一直穿着长靴。茱恩盘算着“我该怎样做，才能貌似优雅地离开这里，躲进灌木丛中”；拉蒂则把自己的一条大腿伸出去，放在凯罗尔的两膝之间，以这种方式向她打招呼。凯罗尔作为一个浪女，知道拉蒂此举的用意，立刻一边爱抚拉蒂的大腿，一边称赞拉蒂非常性感。拉蒂在茱恩面前如此，并非存心要茱恩难堪，而是仅仅出于这样一种欲求：“不要让美好的群欢时光，白白浪费掉。”拉蒂向凯罗尔问道：“你今晚的‘邀舞卡’（dance card，也就是特定时段的行程安排），可以给我留个位置吗？”
Carol asked what was her fancy, and Lottie suggested that she had a yen for a sensitive fist, and Carol said she would be happy to oblige but first needed to check with Susie about a plan they had for later. Both happily trotted off, and June was left to herself. Was she relieved, she wondered? Well …not exactly.
凯罗尔问拉蒂想要怎么玩，拉蒂说自己想要一个善解人意的拳头（也就是做拳交的“受”或曰被动方）。凯罗尔说：我很愿意做你的“攻”，好好伺候你，但我需要事先和苏茜打个招呼，和她确定下接下来的安排。凯罗尔和拉蒂高高兴兴地离开了，把茱恩一个人留在这里。茱恩忽然有些疑惑：“现在的我，是不是已经解脱了？不过……好像也并非如此。”
Returning to the living room, Lottie was surprised to see Carol and June both sitting in the window seat, backs to the sides, feet in the middle. Lottie, never slow to leap on opportunity, sashayed across the room, climbed up on both pairs of feet, and proclaimed, “Here I am!” Carol, well versed in the ways of femmes, called for gloves and lube and firmly pushed Lottie into June’s lap: “Will you hold her for me, please?” June opened her mouth, but nobody waited for her answer—and next thing, there she was, holding Lottie’s gently squirming body. Amazing, thought June, just amazing. She got a good grip on Lottie, took a deep breath, and off she went on the ride.
回到卧室的拉蒂，惊异地发现，茱恩和凯罗尔一起坐在窗前，背靠着侧面，脚朝向中间。拉蒂一向善于抓住任何机会，迈着既轻快又招摇的舞步穿过房间，把自己的脚，也搭在拉蒂和茱恩的脚上，大声叫道：“我来啦！”凯罗尔对拉拉社区流行的肢体语言非常熟悉，她让别人把做爱时所用的塑胶手套和润滑液统统拿来，同时不容分说地将拉蒂，推到茱恩的两膝之间，对茱恩说：“麻烦你帮我把她搂住，好吧？”茱恩惊得张大嘴巴，但事到现在，说什么都没用了，她只好照办，搂住拉蒂轻柔扭动的身躯。“有意思，真有意思！”茱恩一边想着，一边抱紧拉蒂，深呼吸了一口气，由此真正步入“聚众淫乱”的奇幻之旅。
June concentrated on keeping up a good front and trying not to notice several smiling women who had settled down to watch the action on the window seat, while Carol competently went to work to turn Lottie on, lube her up, and get her off. Omigod, thought June, how am I going to get through this? I’m touching this woman’s breast and I hardly know her. Maybe, she thought, I can pretend this is someone I’ve already made love with.
茱恩把全部注意力都集中于自己的正前方，这样就能对那些坐在窗边起哄看热闹的笑脸，尽量视而不见，保持平和淡定。这时的凯罗尔，一直在和被茱恩搂住的拉蒂调情，用各种方法，充分激起拉蒂的性欲，并为拉蒂涂抹好润滑剂，由此让拉蒂的欲火，得到充分的释放。“我的天哪！”茱恩一直在想，“我到底是怎么了，竟然会一直做出这种事，究竟该如何收场呢？我一直在爱抚这个女人的乳房，而我和她并不熟悉。也许，我可以假装拉蒂，是我的一个老床伴儿，是我的旧识情侣？”
Lottie had braced her foot over Carol’s shoulder against the window frame and was energetically pushing herself down on Carol’s hand. She let out a big groan as the hand slipped in, and they both started fucking hard and loud. June had all she could do to prevent Lottie from writhing out of her grip and falling onto the floor. Lottie finally came—loudly, noticed June, very loudly—and June noticed she hadn’t breathed for a while and took a big gasping breath. All three let their bodies go limp on the window seat and invested a few moments in just feeling good.
拉蒂把两只脚，支撑在凯罗尔的肩膀上，顶住窗框，然后对准凯罗尔的一只手，全身奋力向下扑倒。伴随着一声骚气冲天的呻吟，凯罗尔的那只手，滑入拉蒂的下体。她俩用这种方式，进行热火朝天的性爱，感天动地的叫床声不绝于耳。茱恩也只有尽自己的最大努力，确保拉蒂不断扭动的身躯，绝不能挣脱自己的怀抱，在地板上跌倒。拉蒂总算达到了高潮，最性奋的时刻过去了，她在依然一浪高过一浪的叫床声中，注意到了茱恩；茱恩也发觉自己，方才一直屏住呼吸，此刻终于长出了一口气。三个人都瘫倒在窗前的座位上，共同享受这一刻的美好感觉。
Reality eventually asserted itself. Lottie sat up and politely offered to fuck Carol in return. Carol said no, thanks, I already promised Susie, and Lottie and Carol went off in different directions, leaving June alone on the window seat and feeling a bit thunderstruck. I must have fallen into some other universe, marveled June. Who are these women, anyway? Although it was kind of fun, and I think I did okay. But it was still too much. I think I’d better go to sleep.
美梦终归会被现实唤醒。拉蒂直起身子坐起来，彬彬有礼地向凯罗尔提议：现在轮到我做“攻”、你做“受”，我来满足你。凯罗尔说：不用了，谢谢你，我之前已经答应了苏茜，把我的性能量留给她。随后，拉蒂和凯罗尔一起走开了；茱恩被独自留在窗前的座位上，猛然感到有些惊愕。“我刚才简直就像进入了另一个世界。”茱恩简直觉得这一切都不可思议，“刚才和我一起做爱的那两个女人，究竟是我的什么人？不管怎样，刚才玩得真开心，我觉得我所做的，也都还可以。但是，我现在已经玩得太过了、太累了，我觉得我最好还是赶紧去睡觉。”
A day passed. Back at home, Lottie found she could not stop thinking about June. She called Flash and discovered that June had flown out of San Francisco that morning. Two days later, June received this letter:
距此一天之后，已经回到自己家里的拉蒂，发觉自己对茱恩，总是难以忘怀。她向主办那场群P聚会的炫姐询问，得知茱恩在当天上午，就已经搭乘飞机，从旧金山离去。又过了两天，茱恩收到了以下这封信：
Dear June,
亲爱的茱恩，
It’s a beautiful morning up here on my mountain, the sun is streaming through the redwood trees, the sky is very blue with little cloud puffs—yesterday, walking up on the ridge, I saw a huge jackrabbit. The irises are finished, and it’s time for morning glories, rhododendrons, and lots of tiny bright exquisite flowers to whom I have not been properly introduced. Do you live in the city? If I make your mouth water for the mountains, will you come visit me?
我正在自家所住的山上，享受一个美好的早晨，阳光透过红杉树林，万里碧空，偶有一缕白云。昨天，我沿着山脊，徒步上行，看到一只肥硕的长耳野兔。此刻，鸢尾花已经凋谢，却也是牵牛花、杜鹃花，以及很多我叫不出名字的娇小花朵的盛开时节。你在大城市里居住吗？如果我描绘的山景，令你“馋涎欲滴”，你是否愿意来到这里，和我相聚？
Who are you anyway? Write me and tell me about yourself. I am particularly interested in how, as a Buddhist, you deal with desire and passion. I’ve been thinking some about this since we met and realized that I am not a Buddhist because, although I have gotten a great deal from my connections to Zen, including learning a lot about letting go of desire, my spiritual path is about grasping desire (passion might be a more appropriate word bere) as if it were the ox and riding it as a vehicle to communion with the Tao. I worry that this might not be an acceptable practice to you: although I am used to being various people’s version of anathema, I would rather that not be the case with you.
你是怎样的状况？你也写信告诉我吧。我对你格外感兴趣的一点是：作为佛教徒的你，如何应对自身的欲望和激情？自从我们见面之后，我对上述问题，也有一些想法，但我意识到，我终究不是佛教徒。其实我也曾接触过一些禅宗理念，例如学会清心寡欲、无所执著，然而，我本人的心路历程，是紧紧抓住自己的欲望（用“激情”代替这里的“欲望”，或许更加贴切）——我觉得我的欲望或曰激情，就像一头蛮牛，我会设法驾驭它；这个过程，是我“问道修道”的“一乘圆教”。恐怕我说的这些，对你而言，并非可行之策：虽然形形色色的人，都说我是个邪魔外道，堕落得不可救药，我也对此习以为常，但我还是希望，我不会因此被你嫌弃。
I really like you. I really like the connection we made at Flash’s, and I hope we get the chance to explore it further. So write and reveal yourself to me. What are your thoughts about sex, connection, art, nature? What are your fantasies? I really want to know. I bet you dream up some great bedtime stories.
我真心喜欢你。我真心难忘我们在炫姐那里的共处时光。我希望我们能够携手走得更远。所以，我才写信给你，向你坦露心迹。你对性爱，对人际连结，对人文和自然，有哪些想法？你有哪些幻想的美梦？我真心想要了解。我敢打赌，你会经常构想出不少非常美好的床戏剧情。
I wish you were here—writing to you is making me nervous and I would like a cuddle. As I read over this letter trying to decide how far to go, I realize I have probably already gone too far—oh well, I always do.
如果此刻，你能在我身边，那该多好啊！——给你写信，令我心绪不宁，令我渴求一个拥抱。当我将这封信从头至尾检查一遍，想要明确我究竟还有哪些话要对你说，结果发现，我或许已经说了太多。——反正我这个人，从来都是这个样子。
Love, Lottie 爱你的拉蒂
Eight months and approximately three thousand dollars’ worth of phone bills later, not to mention a few impulsive airfares, June put all her worldly goods in her truck, Lottie flew out to meet her, and they drove across the Great Divide to a sweet little house in the country, where they lived together for many happy years.
此后八个月里，茱恩不断和拉蒂电话联系，为此背负了将近三千美元的通话费用账单，此外还经常一时兴起，不惜破财败家，坐飞机到拉蒂那里去。最后，茱恩把自己所有值钱的家当都装上卡车，拉蒂也坐飞机前来和茱恩会面，然后她俩一起开着卡车，翻山越岭来到乡下，在一所甜蜜的小屋里定居，共同度过漫长的美好岁月。