结束语：理想的人间，婊子的乐园

CONCLUSION A Slut Utopia

WELL, HERE WE ARE, at the end of our book. But before we launch you back out into the world, we want to leave you with one final concept that may help you shape your thinking as you design your own life full of whatever kinds of sex and love you want.

好啦，行文至此，本书已至尾声。然而，在我们挥别彼此、在你就要重返现实生活之前，笔者再送你最后一个观念，来为你践行：当你规划自己的人生——其中必然满怀着你所希求的种种幸福和关爱——但愿笔者送你的这个观念，能够被你纳入考虑，能够对你有所助益。

从二人世界，到多人同欢

From Two to Many

The world is very fond of twos: black and white, male and female, mind and body, good and bad. These pairs, we all learn, are opposed: there’s the right way and the wrong way, and our task is to do battle to defend the right and destroy the wrong. This kind of thinking dominates our courts, our politics, and our talk shows, with some crazy results: for instance, some people believe that anyone who enjoys sex outside of marriage, or a kind of marriage that’s different from theirs, must be attacking their marriage. Anything that is different must be opposed, must be the enemy.

这个世界往往非常执著于形形色色的“二分法”，例如非黑即白、非男即女、灵肉对立、是非分明。我们都被不断灌输，这些二元配对，往往是“两极互斥”的：在我们面前，永远有一条正路，和另一条邪路，而我们的职责，就是充当“正路”的红卫兵，并且将“邪路”批倒斗臭。上述的观念，主导着我们这个社会的法院和政坛，乃至我们的脱口秀节目，也经常导致一些疯狂的结果：例如有不少人，都一直认定，普天之下的其ta任何人，如果有了婚外性行为，或者其婚姻方式不同于自己认定的模板，却并未因此遭到恶报，反而乐享其中，这就等同于大规模杀伤性武器，正在对自己所认可的婚姻制度，进行恶毒攻击。这帮人敌视一切“非主流”、“异见者”，巴不得将一切特立独行的事物，都永远镇压在五行山下。

When right and wrong are your only options, you may believe that you can’t love more than one person, or that you can’t love in different ways, or that you have a finite capacity for love—that “many”must somehow be opposed to “one,” or that your only options are in love and out of love, with no allowance for different degrees or kinds of love.

一旦“非黑即白”成为你的唯一选项，你大概就会认为，你无法爱上不止一个人，或者说，你的爱只有一种方式，爱的能力对你而言，是一道固步自封的界限；“多性伴侣”在某种意义上，是“爱情专一”的对立面，换言之，你要么“名花有主”，要么孑然一身，而介于上述两极之间的爱情，或者其他类型的爱情，都一律被你拒之门外。

We would like to propose something different. Instead of these simpleminded either/or arguments, consider the possibility of seeing, and valuing, everything that there is, without viewing them as in opposition to one another. We think that if you can do this, you will discover that there are as many ways to be sexual as there are to be human, and all of them are valid. There are lots of ways to relate, to love, to express gender, to share sex, to form families, to be in the world, to be human…and none of them in any way reduces or invalidates any of the others.

笔者真心建议：尝试些不一样的活法吧。与其在头脑简单的“非此即彼”论调中打转，不如关注眼前的一切，珍惜当下的机遇，而不要对这些事物，进行“冰火不相容”的二元划分。在笔者看来，只要你能够做到这一点，你就会发现，有多少种生而为人的活法儿，就有多少种性爱的方式，每一种活法儿、每一种性爱方式，都切实可行。无论人际关系、爱与被爱、性别表达、性爱分享、组建家庭，还是为人处世、生存发展，都有很多条路径、很多种方法；尤其是，其中的任何路径、任何方法，都不会对其他的路径和方法，构成任何妨碍，不同的人尽可“大路朝天，各走一边”。

When we open our mind to a world beyond opposites, we become able to see beyond unrealistic perfection and unachievable goals. We can free ourselves to be fully conscious of all the wonderful variety and diversity that there is right now in the world, right here, in the present, available to us.

只要打破二元对立，对整个世界敞开心扉，我们就能拓宽视野，看到更多出路，而不会继续执著于不切实际的理想，和无法达成的目标。 【例如，你喜欢某些类型的同性，却偏要削足适履，让自己满足“异性恋，一对一”的标准，这就是不切实际的理想和无法达成的目标。再如，你期待和唯一的伴侣，在结婚之后，谁都不会再和别的人上床，这也同样很难实现，除非你和伴侣，至少有一方，死得足够早——还没来得及发生婚外性行为，或者，还没来得及让婚外性行为被伴侣所知，你俩“专偶，排他”的婚姻关系，就被阎王爷棒打鸳鸯拆散了，由此“永垂不朽”。——译者注 】 我们尽可放飞自我，在意识清醒、心如明镜的状态下，迎接多元多样的美好：这些美好，就在我们所生活的世界，就在我们此时此刻的身边，就在我们触手可得的范围。

Thus sluthood can become a path to transcendence, a freeing of the mind and spirit as well as the body, a way of being in the world that allows expanded awareness, spiritual growth, and love beyond imagining.

以上所述的婊子作派，堪称一条乘风破浪、超越群伦的道路，堪称一场心智、性灵以及身体的解放运动。如此立身之道，能够让你的感官体验不断扩张、充实；让你的内在世界不断成长壮大；让你现实经历的爱情，比你所能幻想到的一切，都更加美好。

婊子宣言

A Slut Manifesto

We believe that when we examine the issues that limit our relationships and our understanding of how we might be, we are essentially planning for a society that is appropriate to the way many people live today—that meets our need for change and growth while it feeds our fundamental desire for belonging and family.

我们认定，只要我们对自己在亲密关系中的那些约束，和限制我们人生潜能的种种观念，进行审视、质询，此刻的我们，就无异于站在大众福祉的立场上，对当今的社会制度，进行重新规划——或者说，我们正在构筑一个既能与时俱进、变则通通则久，又能满足归属感和家庭关系等基本欲求的新世界。

We believe that monogamy will continue to thrive as it always has, a perfectly valid choice for those who truly choose it. (We don’t think it’s much of a choice when you are forbidden to choose anything else.) We want to open our vision to accommodate monogamy as well as a plethora of other options—to plan for family and social structures that have growing room, that will continue to stretch and adapt, that we can fit to our needs in the future. We believe that new forms of families are evolving now and will continue to evolve, not to supplant the nuclear family but to supplement it with an amazing abundance, a whole world of choices about sharing family and sex and love. We want to set you free to invent the society you want to live in.

我们认定，一对一的封闭专偶爱情，会一如既往地盛行于世；专偶制，对于真心愿意过这种生活的人，是个无可指摘的可行选项。（然而，一旦除此之外的其他选择，受到了禁止，在笔者看来，专偶制也就不再是一个“可选项”，因为你的“选择”，根本不存在。）我们需要让自己的见识和胸襟，不断得到拓展，将一对一的专偶制，和除此之外不亚于恒河沙数的其他选项，都包容于其中，使之和谐共处。毕竟，无论家庭模式还是社会结构，都有不断改善的空间，都将不断流变，不断适应新的环境，不断满足更多的需求：这也需要我们有所准备，有所筹划。我们认定，那些关于家庭的最新规范，也正处于动态的演化之中，而且其演化过程，将杳无止境；这并不意味着，要把当今盛行的“核心家庭”排挤出局，因为，那些既美好又丰饶的新事物和新变化，都完全可以作为现状之外的增量，或曰对现状的补充。那将是一个无论亲情还是爱情、友情，都充满许多共享机遇的世界。我们期待你的自我解放，期待你亲手创造一个你真心愿意生活在其中的社会。

Our vision of utopia has free love, in all its forms, as the foundation of our beliefs about reality, about possibility, about staying in the moment and planning the future. We believe that sexual freedom helps us to see our lives as they really are, with the honesty to perceive ourselves clearly and the fluidity to let us move onward as our needs alter, as a changing and growing self with changing and growing partners in a changing and growing world.

在我们对美好社会的构想蓝图中，包含着一切类型的自由之爱。我们对于现实状况的意见，对于可行性的看法，以及那些“活在当下，展望未来”的信念，都以“一切类型的自由之爱”作为根基。我们坚信，性爱的自由，能够让我们看到原本就该如此的生活，究竟是什么模样；能够让我们从此不再自欺，学会真诚地感知自己；能够让我们为了更好地满足自己的需求变化，而不断进行“流水不腐”的自我革新。那将是一个不断变化和成长的自我，和众多同样不断变化和成长的伴侣们一道，生活在一个不断变化和成长的世界中。

We see ethical sluthood leading us to a world where we respect and honor each individual’s boundaries more than we honor any preconceived set of rules about what their boundaries ought to be.

我们晓得，理直气壮的婊子生涯，正在将我们引领到这样一个世界：任何一个人的边界，都能够比任何一条关于“某个人应当有哪些界限”的预设成规，得到更多的尊重、认可。

And in expanding our sexual lives, we foresee the development of an advanced sexuality, where we can become both more natural and more human. Sex really is a physical expression of a whole lot of stuff that has no physical existence: love and joy, deep emotion, intense closeness, profound connection, spiritual awareness, incredibly good feelings, sometimes even transcendent ecstasy. In our utopia, intellect is not a trap that we get stuck in, but an honored tool we use to discover and access all the parts of ourselves and give form to our experience. We free our natural selves by opening our intellects to sensual awareness of our bodies, and when we are no longer stuck in our intellects we become more like spirit: intuitive, experiencing the joy of life for the simple sake of experiencing, in communion with ourselves, with each other, and beyond.

随着性爱生涯的不断拓展，我们可以预见：关于“性”的一切，都将继续发展，继续升级换代。在不久的将来，我们能够变得更为自然、更少做作，同时也更有人情味。通过“身体化”的性爱，能够让为数众多的无形事物——诸如爱情、快乐、深层情绪、亲密无间、强烈的吸引、灵魂的觉醒、难以置信的美好感受，乃至超乎寻常的狂喜——都一揽子拥有了“实打实”的表达方式。此外，在我们所期待的理想乐园中，“超越情感”的理智，不再是令我们裹足不前的樊笼，而是一种能够创造出更大便利的工具。运用理智，我们可以让自己的每一寸肌肤、每一种潜质，都得以探索和开发，使之凝结成为我们的人生体验。让我们的理智“张开双腿”，与我们的肉体欲望“勾搭成奸”、相互协同，我们就能充分释放天性。当我们不再受困于理性，就会变得更像一个鲜活的灵魂：富有直觉洞察力，并且把“体验”本身，作为体验人生乐趣的唯一目的，以及，与所爱之人（可以有很多）灵肉交融、互享欢乐。

丰富多彩：我们最理想的性福蓝图

Our Favorite Sex Fantasy: Abundance

We want everyone to be free to express love in every possible way. We want to create a world where everyone has plenty of what they need: of community, of connection, of touch and sex and love. We want our children to be raised in an expanded family, a connected village within urban alienation, where there are enough adults who love them and each other, so there is plenty of love and attention and nurturance, more than enough to go around. We want a world where the sick and aging are cared for by people who love them, where resources are shared by people who care about each other.

我们衷心期待每一个人，都能够毫无顾忌地采用任何一种可能的方式，来表达爱意。我们致力于开拓一片新天地，在那里，每个人对同好社区的欲求，对人际连结的欲求，对亲密接触的欲求，对性和爱的欲求，都能得到充分满足。我们也希望自己的孩子，能够在一个边界不断扩张的开放式家庭，被抚养长大：这样的家庭，就像在人际关系越发疏离的城市“荒漠”中，建立起一片众多村民心心相印的情感“绿洲”；那些彼此相爱的成年人，共同担负起对孩子的责任，因此，孩子从中得到的关爱和培育，取之不尽、用之不竭。我们还希望，当任何人不再年轻、不再健康，都能被众多相爱之人所悉心照料；那些用于照顾老弱病残的资源，是众多互爱互助之人的共同资产。

We dream of a world where no one is driven by desires they have no hope of fulfilling, where no one suffers from shame for their desires, or embarrassment about their dreams, where no one is starving from lack of sex. We dream of a world where no one is limited by rules that dictate that they must be less of a person, and less of a sexual person, than they have the capacity to be.

在我们所期待的世界里，没有人对根本无法实现的愿景，徒劳地缘木求鱼；没有人为自己的欲望而感到羞耻，或者对自己的梦想难以启齿；更没有人，忍受着性饥渴的煎熬。在我们所期待的世界里，每一个人都能够完完整整地活出真实的自我，追求自己对“性”的全部渴望，发挥自己的全部性福潜能，而不再受限于任何有碍于上述理想的条条框框。

We dream of a world where nobody gets to vote on your life choices, or who you choose to love, or how you choose to express that love, except yourself and your lovers. We dream of a time and a place where we will all be free to publicly declare our love, for whoever we love, however we love them.

在我们所期待的世界里，无论你的人生选择，还是你的想要和谁相爱、想要对示示爱，除了你自己，以及你的所爱之人外，再无任何人，有“投票决定”或曰横加干涉的资格。我们渴望拥有一个时代和一方国土，在此时此地，人人都能毫无顾忌地尽情表达自己的爱意——无论所爱之人是谁，无论以怎样的方式相爱。

And may we all look forward to a lifetime of dreams come true.

但愿我们都能为上述理想的实现，用尽一生一世，来上下求索。

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