附录2 资源导览

Resource Guide

【作者列举的书籍，大都在内地，无正规出版的译本（马歇尔·卢森堡的《非暴力沟通》，是唯一的例外）；至于网站，在中国内地的局域网，也无法访问。故不译，只照抄原文，供有能力阅读英文著作、英文网站的读者，自行按图索骥。——译者注 】

The following is a list of books, websites, networks, and other resources for polyamory and other sexually adventurous lifestyles. New books and resources about polyamory and open relationships are proliferating like bunnies in the springtime, and we can’t keep up with all of them—so our apologies if we’ve omitted your favorite.

The books we’re most familiar with are all terrific, and each one offers viewpoints that others don’t, but as of the latest count we know of dozens more, each with lots to offer. Read them all, but if you can only afford a few, we suggest that you check out the ones we list here.

GENERAL POLYAMORY

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2008). Offers a taxonomy of all the many kinds of open relationships and includes interviews with hundreds of people who are succeeding at nontraditional lifestyles.

Polyamory: The New Love without Limits

Dr. Deborah Anapol (Intinet Resource Center, 1997). The classic text for those seeking group marriages and other long-term multipartner committed relationships.

Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships

Wendy-O Matik (Defiant Times Press, 2002). Targeted to younger alternative relationship-seekers, this book frames open relationships as a radical choice that is political as well as personal.

Alt.polyamory (www.polyamory.org). Start your search for poly-friendly information and resources here. Support groups, communities, mailing lists, and such come and go more quickly than we can keep up with in a printed book, but you can find up-to-date information and links to groups all over the world here, as well as relevant articles, glossaries, book reviews, and much more.

Society for Human Sexuality (www.sexuality.org). This remarkably comprehensive website links to hundreds if not thousands of articles, reviews, and other resources about all forms of human sexuality.

Poly in the Media (polyinthemedia.blogspot.com). If you’re curious about news coverage of goings-on in polyland, check out this blog.

DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS

If the Buddha Dated

Charlotte Kasl (Penguin, 1999). How to navigate the world of dating openheartedly, without hauling along all your expectations.

Human Awareness Institute(www.hai.org). These folks put on excellent weekend-long workshops on intimacy, sex, and love, all over the world.

Tribe (www.tribe.net).”Tribes” of like-minded individuals include ethical sluts, as well as general polyamory tribes and some regional polyamory tribes.

Adult Friend Finder (www.adultfriendfinder.com). If you’re seeking a relationship that is primarily sexual and/or kinky in nature, check out this website.

Cuddle Party (www.cuddleparty.com). Cuddle parties are fun, friendly social events in which participants can explore touch and cuddling without sexual expectations.

Lifestyles (www.lifestyles.org).Information, ideas, and events for folks who are specifically interested in swinging.

PolyMatchMaker(www.polymatchmaker.com). Most dating services assume that you’re seeking a monogamous relationship; some will refuse to do business with you if you’re looking for something else. A happy exception is PolyMatchMaker. Their website also offers links to useful articles and websites.

SEX

The Erotic Mind

Jack Morin (Harper, 1996). A brilliant untangling of the eternal conflict between the comfortable ease of long-term relation- ships and the passionate tension required for hot sex.

The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex

Cathy Winks and Anne Semans (Cleis Press, 2002).A thorough, inclusive guide to how sex actually works.

Hot Monogamy

Patricia Love and Jo Robinson (Plume, 1995).Who better to teach you how to keep your relationship sexy than the folks who have committed to having sex with only one person for the rest of their lives?

Urban Tantra

Barbara Carrellas (Celestial Arts, 2007). How to use the techniques of tantra—breath, gaze, motion, and so on-to bring greater intensity and connection to your sex play. Inclusive of all genders and orientations, including BDSM/leather.

San Francisco SexInformation (www.sfsi.org). Our friends at this website maintain a useful and accessible information line. They can answer your questions one-on-one, by telephone (415-989-SFSI) or online.

American Social Health Association (www.ashastd.org). For the latest information about safer sex and sexually transmitted diseases, check out this website.

MANAGING CONFLICT

The Intimate Enemy: How to Fight Fair in Love and Marriage

George R. Bach and Peter Wyden (Morrow, 1968). The concept of “fair fighting” was first expounded by Dr. Bach in this wonderful book.Published forty years ago, the book is somewhat outdated, but the material on communication, and detailed descriptions of constructive ways to share your anger with a partner, is priceless—this book is a classic.

Difficult Conversations

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, and Roger Fisher (Penguin, 2000). How to discuss the uncomfortable—not just with your lover(s) but with anyone.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

Marshall B. Rosenberg and Arun Gandhi (Puddledancer Press, 2003).One of the best contemporary books for dealing with communications skills in conflict of all sorts.

【此书有中文译本：《非暴力沟通》（华夏出版社）。华夏译版的作者署名，只有马歇尔·卢森堡（Marshall B. Rosenberg）一人；此书的英文原版，包括本书附录所列举的Puddledancer Press的2003版（本书初版），封面署名也只有卢森堡博士一人。本书作者将Arun Gandhi（阿伦·甘地，圣雄甘地之孙，《非暴力沟通》中有他的“前言”）也列入《非暴力沟通》的作者，也许是为了强调其思想源头，也许是本书作者，颇受启发于《非暴力沟通》的“前言”。——译者 】

Poly-Friendly Professionals (www.polychromatic.com/pfp).Provides lists of counselors, attorneys, therapists, physicians, and other professionals who are familiar and nonjudgmental about alternative relationship structures.

Kink-Aware Professionals (www.ncsfreedom.org/kap). Lists professionals (doctors, attorneys, therapists, bodyworkers, and more) who are nonjudgmental about BDSM, leather, kink, fetish, and other alternative modes of sexual expression.

LEGAL AND SOCIAL ISSUES

A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples (Nolo, 2007).

A useful book with a CD-ROM that can help you set up whatever legal underpinnings your relationships require.

Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples (Nolo, 2008).

Another useful resource with an accompanying CD-ROM.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom(www.ncsfreedom.org) and the Woodhull Foundation (www.woodhullfoundation.org). Information about protecting your legal and political rights as a practitioner of a nontraditional sexual lifestyle. Please support them with your charitable donations.